Maybe Later
by Jemmasgiirl
Summary: JEMMA. Em's home from rehab,long story. Mannys marrying Sean, and Emma finds herself insisting life will be perfect as long as she gets Sean back. Also, big bad ol' Jay, is helping her do this. Why? Well, she won't ask questions right now, maybe later.
1. It All Brought Me To Here

Maybe Later.

Emma's home from rehab, long story. Manny's marrying Sean, and Emma finds herself insisting life will be perfect as long as she gets Sean back. Also, bad ol' Jay, who seems somewhat good now, is helping HER do this? She won't ask questions right now, but maybe later.

**AUTHOR NOTE: Sean NEVER came back through highschool, he left after the shooting, didn't come back. Manny and Jay didn't happen. **

Emma Nelson was now 20 years old, she still looked like a young adult, with a model like tanned body and long blonde hair. She looked like she could have it all..yet, she didn't. She had nothing.

Least, she felt that way.

Her eyes were closed as a taxi brought her back home. She been in and out of rehab for almost a year and a half now, hopefully now, yet some people doubted it, was her final recovery and she'd never go back to it.

Emma's eyes clenched shut more than they were when her dreams brought back memories.

"_I'm your daughter." Emma said sitting on a hospital bed next to her ill mental father, Shane. He smiled wide. Emma was what? 13 or 14 then? She had hunted down her father finally, and no, her father wasn't always mental, the rumors were he tripped on acid, and jumped off a bridge.._

Emma could say her drug problem came from Shane, like father like daughter... but that was just a sad excuse.

"_Emma." Snake told Emma, rubbing his forehead and shutting his eyes. The cancer was getting to him. Emma was now around 15 at this point. This was when Snake came over to her and Sean when they were trying to find moment of peace, "I really need you to baby sit Jack." _

_Emma sadly frowned and looked to Sean, who was just complaining about never being able to see her. He looked at her sadly aswell until huffing, and looking down._

No, Emma couldn't blame her addiction on Snake, or even her mom for that matter. Or Sean. Though Sean caused pain, that's what love was... right?

"_Glad your here Emma, sorry I kissed you. You made my list." Rick told Emma, walking down the hall of her grade 10 Degrassi year. She stood next to Sean who put her behind him, saving her life when Rick went to shoot her.. he aimed that gun right at her head._

_**BANG!**_

Emma woke up with a bit of a jolt. That was about almost 4 years ago, sure it scared her like hell still but.. was that the reason why she did all she did? Maybe it was time to just blame herself.

She was a stupid influenced girl she guessed.

Her eyes fluttered a bit, she was so tired. Memories still flooded into her head...

"_Everybody thinks I'm a freak now." Emma insisted, sitting on a park bench a week after that shooting. She was at the ravine._

_Next to her, the one and only Jay Hogart sat staring at the fire infront of them intensely until he tilted his head to glance at her and squinted his eyes abit, giving her an unreadable look._

_Emma's big brown eyes looked to him and curiously asked, "Do you think I'm weird?" as she asked this, he chuckled softly and stared into her eyes before shaking his head no._

And just like that, she was underneath him, he was kissing her as passionately as she's ever been kissed before.

Who knew she'd need Jay or Jay would want her after how many times they fought and how much they hated another. Guess that fire was their only passion, or something like that.

_A doctor rounded the class, Emma remembered it like yesterday, "Gonorrhea. An STD disease that clogs the throat, making it a bit sore...but, can be cured."_

_Emma, who had been having a sore throat, suddenly swallowed a nervous lump in her throat. Her and Jay, Jay had been messing around with Alex and rumours had it, Amy too. Did she have this? Did he do this to her?_

_Well why wouldn't he? He was Jay Hogart. Careless, rude, and self absorbed. Only wanted pleasure out of all this. For a second she thought he was really helping her through this bump in her life. Time to go back to old times, Jay was no more a romance interest, he __**couldn't**__ be, he wasn't the __**type**__. _

"_I think I'm sick." Emma remembers crying to her parents who tightly embraced her._

Emma tried forgetting about the whole Jay thing, yeah they had their rants here and there though, it was a wierd friendship, if that's what you'd even call it, as much as they hated another, it balanced out having another in eachother's life. She couldn't really see Jay **not** being around if that made sense.

Then came last year of highschool, when a Lakehurst stabbed JT. JT died in the arms of Liberty, infront of Emma's house, at **HER **party.

_God, it was all her fault, why did she have to throw- um, anyway, this wasn't the reason she turned to drugs, it was just the final hit. How could this world be so cruel? So Emma thought, where was a place to get messed up? More than she already was.._

_Why the ravine ofcourse. _

_So like she had said, it was only pot first, also, Emma decided it was best to pick a college far away, and that's where she met her boyfriend Kelly, she then got into oxy cotton, and then came the coke. _

"Hey girlie!" the taxi driver called out from the front.

Emma sat up straight in her seat and rubbed her eyes, "Yeah?" she squeeked.

"We're here." He confirmed with a slight smile.

Emma looked down a bit sadly until she got the courage to look up. They were turning onto her street, and the last time she was there came rushing to her head, where her parents found out she had a bad problem, right before she went to rehab.

FLASHBACK:

"_So glad you could make it home for the holiday Em, how's college?" Spike opened the door for Emma to hop in._

_It was cold, winter, yet Emma remembered she couldn't feel much back then.. she was so numb on the coke. It was somewhat.. a great feeling, to not feel._

_Emma felt her energy speeding up, she had snorted a line before she came in, for courage you know?_

_Emma smiled widely speaking fast, "So good mom! You have no idea. Opened my eyes to like, everything!" _

"_Well, glad you got your spunk back." Laughed Snake, coming from behind and hugging her, that's when Emma noticed two more people. One, Manny, ofcourse!_

_But then Sean Cameron._

_What...the...hell._

_She wasn't on that much drugs so WHAT the FUCK was he doing here? And why standing so close to Manny? He looked nervous._

"_Hey Em." He finally breaths, his eyes sinking into hers. Not like she could catch that moment, so many questions were flooding into her high head._

"_Sean? What..what are you doing here?" Emma tried to muster a shocked, but a good shocked, smile._

_Manny put a hand on Sean's shoulder._

_Emma felt anger rise in her, but hid it._

_Manny explained to her best friend, "Sean goes to the same College as me, Em. We're study partners now. Hope...you don't mind. He's the only person I knew there." _

_Emma bit the end of her tounge before snickered, "Why would I mind? Good to see you again." Well that's awkward to say to the ex who saved her life in a shooting... _

_Both Snake and Spike gave another looks as well._

"_I'll go get your bags." Sean offered, leaving. Manny awkwardly shifted before reaching over and hugging Emma tight._

"_So glad you can be good about this. Missed you so much, Em." She whispered in her ear._

_Emma softened a bit before smiling, Manny was still Manny at least. _

"_Oh...Emma." Snake said for Spike to cover her mouth._

_The girls pulled away and Manny gasped, "Oh your nose is bleeding." _

_Emma quickly covered it, feeling caught, no, no, they couldn't know. Give an excuse, lie._

"_Must be the weather. I'll go get cleaned up." Emma confirmed._

_After washing up and staring at herself in the mirror, Emma went down the stairs. It's been at least 4 months since she's been home since college started. She figured Manny would still come around a lot to see her parents but to bring Sean back into her house? What was going on._

"_Sean, is Jay coming again for dinner tonight?" she heard Spike ask Sean in the kitchen, preparing for their Christmas meal._

"_Again?" Emma asked, over hearing that and stopped in the doorway._

"_They are a package Spike." Manny joked over from the table._

_Emma crossed her arms looking over the scene uncomfortably. Manny was sitting in HER spot, Sean was helping HER mother yet not here for HER? And now, Jay Hogart was popping up with visits so HER parents could make HIM dinner? What a jerk! _

"_Wow, new family in this house or what?" Emma joked but everyone heard the bitternes but tried ignoring it._

_Sean passed Emma a sad sort of sorry look but Emma didn't notice it._

_Emma then jumped feeling someone brush pass her, "Admit it Greenpeace." Jay Hogart stood next to her and leaned on the wall, taking in the view she was, "you missed me." _

_Did he think it was wierd Manny and Sean were hanging out lots? Sure. Definitely. _

_Emma viewed Jay over, still looked he did in highschool, what girls would call the 'heart throbbing bad boy', but Emma knew better. He was worse then that. Anyway, only thing he was missing was that baggy jacket he use to wear, thank god. She hated that coat._

_Spike laughed from the sink and over at Jay as if his joke was funny. Um HELLO, guy who gave your daughter so much trouble in highschool! What was wrong with these people._

_Emma rolled her eyes, "So what else is new? Did you sell Jack?" she taunted, she hasn't seen her baby brother yet._

_No one laughed but Jay smirked from behind her against the wall. Spike turned over her shoulder giving her a warning look as the front door opened._

_Snake led Joey and Craig inside, "Merry Christmas!" he called, little Angie, who was around 12 now, held hands with Jack, helping him inside. Who was now walking! And around 3 years old._

_Everyone smiled and went over, sharing hugs, even Craig and Manny did, yet it looked like they really moved on and were being friendly. Emma then got nervous, Craig was once into cocaine.. he wouldn't notice her slip ups, would he?_

_Jay stayed back, leaning against the wall behind Emma, watching her watch her family and the Jeremiahs sharing hugs, her ex, Sean, apart of the group hug too._

_He could imagine how she probably felt right now. Left out, betrayed, replaced.. _

_Emma thought she slipped out without anyone noticing. She went down her stairs to the basement, where her room was. Zipping her bag open she grabbed a small looking bottle with white stuff inside it. The coke. She lined it up on a binder with a credit card._

_Home Sweet Home._

_She sniffed._

"_Just wanted to come down and-" Craig Mannings came down her stairs with a big smile until frowning, seeing what she had just done, even if she did throw the binder down on the floor and stand infront of it._

"_Merry...christmas.." he drifts slowly, eyeing her sadly. Never would he think Emma would be into the things she use to fight against._

_Emma sniffed a little bit, trying not to but it needed to go up. She ran a hand through her hair and charged by him, "You did it once too Craig, I do it just to keep myself up for school work, so keep it quiet, alright?" she demanded, going up the stairs until turning to give him a 'got it?' kind of look._

_He slowly nodded, staring across the wall. She huffed but left. He stood there, speechless._

_But Emma was so kind, and sweet, and innocent. ._

_Doubts ran through his mind, maybe he should tell, he knew how much of a struggle it was, but.. he was addicted to it. Maybe Emma wasn't. Maybe she did need it as an energy bolt for school. But it was the holiday- maybe she had lots of homework._

"_Craig pass the gravy!" Snake asked over the laughter at the dinner table._

_It was actually coming from Emma, who was now suddenly fine with the whole Sean and Manny thing already, and even laughing at one of his jokes, he laughed with her. _

_Sean loved Emma, maybe they moved on but he'd always need her acceptance, maybe no one could understand that but they did._

_But on the other side of Emma at the table, Jay tilted his head a bit curiously, narrowing his eyes at her questionably.._

_One thing her and Sean never had is what her and Jay had, even if she didn't want them to have it, because it annoyed the shit out of her. He always knew when she was mad or happy, sometimes even what she was thinking. And for being a sad girl moments ago and seeing right through her she was upset about Sean, her emotions flipped to totally okay with it and he was sure Dr Phil wasn't downstairs for her to talk to so why was she so suddenly fine with everything? _

_After dinner, they all sat in the living room hanging out. Angie and Jack were passed out already. Craig was a bit fidgety, not liking keeping Emma's secret._

"_Knew you'd go to college for something like that." Sean teased Emma, Jay rolled his eyes getting up to get some hot chocolate that Spike warmed up. He'd probably peace soon._

_Manny picked at her nails sitting on the other side of Sean, but whatever, it made sense they'd be wrapped up in another she guessed. _

_Besides, whose bed was Sean sleeping in? Yes, Manny and Sean were a thing, and she wanted badly to admit it, especially now with Sean and Emma non stop talking and giggling. Okay, she's just being jealous. Breath. They've moved on._

_Meanwhile downstairs, Emma's mother went to help unpack her clothes and then covered her mouth, picking up a bottle filled with cocain. Spikes eyes watered and gazed up the stairs to where her daughter now was. Oh no.._

_Emma entered the kitchen now to catch a breather to see Jay in there. Oh, that's where he went, so much to be alone and try to calm down. She couldn't stop shaking, she was getting too ansty, they might of noticed something._

_Jay and her connected eyes, and that's when Jay squinted his eyes to get a better look at her eyes. Emma darted her eyes away from him. Oh god, she was being nervous around the wrong people, it was Jay who could find out just by looking at her. Run, run from him Emma._

"_What's wrong with your eyes?" he said outloud, taking a step toward her. Emma was infront of the counter so couldn't back up._

_She moved her head to the right, "Nothing." She snapped and tried going around him, he grabbed her wrist, "Jay!" she exclaimed._

_His rough hand let go and then cupped her face, his fingers slipping through her blonde hair, gently but determined._

_He stared into her eyes. Emma softened looking back up at him but then remembered what he was trying to figure out and struggled out._

"_You're high!" Jay yelled, following her to the door and slamming it closed before she could go._

_Emma hissed, "as if you're the only one to point fingers. You smoke pot more than you drink, and that's a lot coming from someone who has beer for breakfast." She started to pace._

_She felt cornered. This was bad, bad. First Craig, now Jay. Oh the world ended if Jay Hogart knew something._

"_It's pot!" Jay said, justifying it wasn't as bad, "Your on something else, your pupils are huge, you've been acting wierd..." he looked like he was trying to figure it out and his eyes seemed to darken, "Are you snorting cocain?"_

_Why'd he look like that? Why'd he look like he cared? That jerk! That hypocritical jerk! She was positive he only knew because he use to be into coke too! She heard the rumors! He probably still was. _

_Emma shut her eyes and ran her hands through her hair as the kitchen door opened, "You are, aren't you?" _

_Emma and Jay whipped around to Spike holding that cocain bottle. Emma's world came crashing around her, even Jay took a step back. He didn't think Spike would come in._

"_Mom." Emma cried, shaking her head. She couldn't explain it._

_From behind Spike, Snake, Joey, Craig, Manny and Sean slowly crept up behind, looking at the scene._

"_Great, come on in! It's a show right? Always is with you people!" Emma exclaimed, tears beginning to fall._

_Jay frowned deeply, still standing right behind her as her judgemental family stared her down from infront. This wasn't their business, nor his, it was Emma's, and her parents'. He's been through this before.._

_Meanwhile, Emma pushed Snake away from her, "Don't touch me!" Emma cried, she didn't want to be touched._

_When Sean gave her that look, that sorry look, that PITY look, Emma wanted to die. As if he had to pity HER, he's got to be just as fucked up as she was! Don't dare look like you are better than her._

"_I saw her do it downstairs.. I was afraid to say something during dinner." Craig whispered._

_Emma's mouth fell giving him a 'what the fuck is wrong with you' look. _

"_It's been more than hour, her eyes are still a bit dilate, means she does it a lot." Craig admitted._

_Spike joked on a cry and leaned into Snakes embrace._

"_Emma." Whispered Manny, shaking her head and couldn't believe she was into this._

_Craig finished, "It means she's addicted." _

"_Thanks Doc." Jay finally snapped at him, that shut Craig up._

_Emma felt ambushed, Spike was hysterical crying into Snake's arms who was yelling at Emma that needed help, and what bag things she was doing to this family._

_Jay had slowly crept out the side door. He took one more glance at her through the screen door, she was crying, fighting with everyone, he looked away sadly and left the house. He sat in his car for a few moments until finally getting the courage to leave._

_Hopefully Sean and the Manning's left too. This wasn't for them to see. Like Emma had said, it wasn't a show. It wasn't fair for them to see her like that, it wasn't her fault, she got into something that was addicting, she couldn't help it._

_..She wasn't suppose to be like this. She didn't deserve this._

"_I'm calling Doctor Ribley." Spike said after whipping her tears and going to the phone. _

_Emma stood in the middle of the kitchen, just staring down at the floor. Everyone had finally left, Sean was last out the door and glanced back at her, she didn't want to even look at him. He frowned and left too. Emma then whipped around to see if Jay was still there._

_Gone._

_...where did he go?_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"Ready?" The taxi driver stopped the car.

Emma looked at her house for a moment until nodding, "Ready than ever."

She was home from rehab finally, and Manny was getting married... to Sean. She knew it was going on, she wasn't stupid, just didn't believe it'd get that serious, nor believed Manny would betray her like that

I mean yes Emma once dated Peter after he hurt Manny, but that wasn't her first love or anything close to that. Everyone knew the Sean and Emma deal.

Maybe if she got Sean back and things went back to normal, it'd all be fine again. She heard he got an auto shop, just like he always planned when they were teenagers, maybe they could still have that dream life they use to gush over together. If Manny could hurt her like that why couldn't she hurt Manny back?

Besides, this could be good for her recovery.

Yeah. That was it. Everything would be better if she just got Sean back.


	2. Somebody's In My Head Again

_**Somebody mixed my medicine**_

_**I don't know I'm on.**_

_**Somebody mixed my medicine**_

_**Oh baby its all gone**_

_**Somebody mixed my medicine**_

_**Somebody's in my head again**_

Emma took a deep breath, it was summer, so ofcourse her family had a big welcome home party for her.

Not embarrassing at all.

"EM!" Manny was quickly running to her first.

Emma couldn't help but smile wide when the girl practically fell into her arms.

Even if she took Sean, Emma still loved her, they fought like sisters sometimes.

"Ow." Emma pouted but laughed.

"My god your hair got long. And your beautiful!" Manny insisted, crawling up and joked, "Maybe I should go into rehab?"

Emma gave an uneasy laugh until Manny gave her a 'just joking' grin and hugged her once more as Emma heard her parents crying out her name.

God, a year and half really felt like a long time. Spike now had short hair and Snake looked, oldish. Emma couldn't help but laugh a little as she went to them and they embraced her together.

_**SEANS POINT OF VIEW:**_

**Wow.**

**She was finally here, home. And she looked amazing, not that she never did, she was always beautiful but now, the way the sunshine hit her, she looked... happy again. Free**

**I mean I was glad she took the news of me and Manny getting married well, but deep down, it sort of bugged me. She was THAT over me? ... Didn't we almost have it all? **

**Oh god, she's looking at me. Don't forget to breath.**

"**Hey." She smiles so softly, like an angel.**

**I then glance to Manny beside her, she looks so pretty in her yellow sundress, so happy that her best friend is finally home.**

**Right, right, best friends. Stop staring at both of them, just give her a quick hug.**

"**Hey Em." I lean over and take her in my arms. Why's it have to feel so farmiliar? We pull apart and I can't help but glance at her. She smells like vanilla, I couldn't ever forget that.**

**She then gave me a smile. That smile, that was only meant for me.**

**Jesus. Just be friends, we can do it, I love Manny now. Beautiful, hot, giddy, Manny. Manny Santos... soon to be Manny Cameron. **

**I smile to that thought, "So heard your going to be the maid of honor?" I grin.**

**Emma looks at me like she doesn't know what I'm talking about as Manny slaps my arm.**

"**I haven't told her yet!" Manny whined, "It was a suprize." She pouted. Oh that cute little pout, I'd love to just-**

**I cough, "Oh, sorry." I give Emma a sympthatic look. **

**Emma looks confused for a second until snapping out of it and then a gleam hit over her eyes, "Maid of honor huh?" she smiled to Manny.**

"**Would you?" Manny asked, gushing. She bounced a little holding her hands together, I chuckle.**

"**ofcourse." Emma insisted softly like it was crazy Manny had to ASK. They hugged. I awkwardly shifted. Emma looked REALLY good. I'm glad she's better now, that last time he saw her was chaos. **

**We all sit in the back yard for a bit, going over changes. Liberty and Toby even came, who were now together. Emma and I shared a 'oh yea, that happened' look. **

**After a few beers, Jay enters from the back gate. He didn't usually pick me up but he offered today. Sometimes I wonder if he just wanted to see Emma. They had a wierd enemy friendship.**

**No more than that though, I'm sure. Yeah... I'm positive. Emma didn't go for guys like Jay.. yes she had me but I a softy, not a real true bad boy, just a bit mis guided back in the day. Jay will forever be a little rough around the edges**

"**More beer Sean?" Snake asked, raising up from beside Emma. I've noticed now he hasn't really left her side. Maybe he was really worried, we all were. We cared for her. Well atleast I did, a lot.**

"**one more, thanks Mr.S." I finally answer as Jay makes it to the table.**

**He's coming from behind Emma, so probably only her and her mom can't see him yet.**

"**Me too." Manny called.**

"**Can I have one?" Emma tosses over her shoulder.**

**I even paused, giving Snake a 'i don't know' look. What if she turned to alchohal like she did to cocain? **

**I see Emma clench her jaw, she was obviously noticing our doubts.**

"**Hon-" Spike is cut off from Jay.**

"**Here, have mine." Jay says, arriving the table behind her and passing one of his bottles infront of her, onto the table, from his 6 pack. **

**He then sat across the table beside me, and I couldn't help but give him a ridiculous look. What right did he have thinking it was okay for her to have?**

**I look back at Emma to squint my eyes a bit, why is she eyeing Jay?**

**I feel a bit of jealousy. No, no. I slide my hand into Manny's and smile at her, Manny is for me. Not Emma, not anymore. **

**Can't help but look back at Jay though, that slimy little player**

NO ONES POINT OF VIEW:

Emma happily opened the beer bottle but narrowed her eyes at Jay as she took a sip with a smirk cracking out.

Really? Out of all of them, Jay was the one to know and understand she could take a sip of a damn innocent beer?

Clearly things haven't changed, but that was nothing to freak over. Emma was fine now, well, at least with the drugs, she was over that. Done with! It was just getting her life back that she was struggling with.

"It is lunch time, right GP?" taunted Jay at her, sharing that smirk with her, but his was way better.

He was bugging her, nothing new, she always use to taunt him how he drank beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

" Can we go swimming?" a small voice asked, Jack, now almost 5, getting so big!

Snake got up and picked him up, "I'll bring yeah."

"We should get going." Toby told everyone and smiled to Emma. He missed her.

Emma smiled back and nodded.

Liberty waved, "It was fun."

Emma watched them leave, then watched Snake jump into the pool with Jack and laughed softly. She missed this feeling. Happy.

Jay snuck a glance at her and listened to her soft laugh. He watched her then move her eyes to Manny and Sean, wrapped up in another and then looked back at him.

Jay didn't even move his eyes off her, which she expected him to do when she caught him watching her. He just held his look and took another swig of beer.

Emma huffed looking away and turned to her mom, "How's everything?" she asked.

"Hey Jay! Can you help toss the burgers?" Snake yelled over to him, he got up and Emma snuck a glance to watch him go.

God. Did Snake actually LIKE his most hated student in school now?

Emma couldn't help but smile and shake her head.

"Em!"

"EMMA!"

A few girls ran over from the back gate and to the table. Emma snapped her off of Jay and to the girls, Mia, Darcy and some other girl, who didn't yell her name or that would of been awkward.

They had their hugs and hello's, they caught up with anothers lives and decided to go in the pool. Emma decided not to, and to sit back with her mother.

"Whose that?" Emma asked her mom, glancing at the mysterious girl.

"Bianca. She's a year younger than you. One of the girls' friend." She explained, watching her daughter closely.

Was she..ok, now? How could you tell?

Emma watched this 'Bianca' go and talk to Jay by the BBQ. The girl looked easy, wore a bit of a skanky bikini that just ABOUT covered her boobs, and the way she hung on Jay, clearly was just asking for it.

"Is Sean here like... a lot?" Emma asked her mom.

Spike frowned, "Only when Manny needs help with something. Emma are you going to be okay doing their wedding?"

"Ofcourse." Emma clenched her teeth, "It's fine."

She looked at Sean and Manny swimming and smiling at another, Manny sneaking splashes at him.

Emma didn't think she'd ever see the day she'd rather even want Jay Hogart here more than Sean. Or Manny for that matter.

Emma looked back at her mom to see her watching Bianca flirt with Jay.

Oh, sickened you too huh?

"He's cleaned up good huh?" Spike blurted out..

Emma almost choked on her next sip on her beer. Was she talking about Jay!

Emma watched her mom drool over him as he removed his shirt over the hot BBQ.

Emma raised an eyebrow, he got a bit more ripped. Very lean. Sean was always TOO ripped, bumpy 6 packs freaked her out.

Emma then looked away, "Still looks grubby to me."

Spike admitted, "He's still rough around the edges and wears that dumb ol' hat but look at those arms. And don't ever say in highschool his smirk never made the girls go crazy." Spike glanced at Sean with Emma and looked to her daughter, "I mean Sean is charming but Jay really has that dangerous mysterious vibe huh?"

Emma cringed looking at her mom to see that awing expression. EW!

"Ew mom, stop it." Emma whined. She looked at Jay once more. He looked up from Bianca and watched her for a long moment before looking down at the burgers.

"wouldn't it be funny if you ended up with him?" whispered Spike to her, noticing Jay longingly looking at Emma.

But that didn't mean he was STARING at her, he just had a STARING PROBLEM, trust Emma on this, she knew it. He didn't like her like that..

"I won't." Emma said, playing with her bottles beer cap.

Spike sighed, "No.. Not that your not beautiful, just that.. he probably likes super model types. Probably not even ready to settle down yet."

She seemed to start talking to herself because she didn't even notice Emma roll her eyes and get up, leaving.

"Jesus." Emma muttered.

Emma decided to go change into a bathing suit.

She grabbed a bottle of water before going toward the bathroom door beside the kitchen until the back door opened and in came Jay.

Emma gave him a wierd look, "Can I help you?"

"I'll help myself." Taunted Jay, going to the fridge carelessly and grabbing himself a water bottle.

Emma rolled her eyes but smiled, going into the bathroom and changing. Same ol' Jay.

She could hear Jay from the outside, "Your Dad was going to run into the house to see what you were doing, so I thought this was better."

"What? If YOU came in and baby sat me?" Emma taunted, "Would you like to change me too?" she then shut her mouth.

Akward. SO NOT what she meant. Oh-oh god. Thank god she was behind a door and he couldn't see her blush.

She did hear him chuckle a bit though before a cracking was heard, probably opened his bottle of water.

She then huffed, adding on, "I don't need anybody watching me like a hawk! I'm **fine**."

"That's why I thought this was better.. I'm **not really **watching you." his voice taunted back. He opened the fridge and joked, "We're being _sneaky_." He smirked to himself and turned when he heard her come back out.

He then slowly stopped grinning.

She came out in a blood red bikini, her long wavy blonde hair falling down her chest and shoulders.

She casually walked around him and grabbed her own water again before tossing over her shoulder, "How would you like me stalking you and watching you all the time?" she turned before going out the door.

Jay was following her out but stopped infront of her, putting his hand on the knob right beside her, "Wouldn't mind it a bit Greenpeace." He said with a playful wink and opened the door for her.

Emma tilted her head a bit confused as she turned but slowly went out the door.

"Em, come play!" she heard Sean call and turned. She tried to hide her smirk. Volley ball. Perfect.

"Alright." She laid her water down on the table and headed toward the grass part of the yard.

Jay curiously watched her go, but knew exactly what she was up to.

"I don't know how to really play though." She said, tossing her hair to one side. Sean was gawking her body, she could tell, and he was having a hard time looking away.

She swore some of these guys expected a druggies body. She's been drug free for more than 6 months alright? She was fine now. Curvy and tanned. The good ol Emma bod.

She looked back to Manny, Manny was too busy talking to Mia, Darcy and Bianca about volley ball to notice any of this going on.

"I'll show you." Sean said with a grin that Emma shared back.

He went behind her and Emma noticed him a little too eager to put his arms around her, handing her the ball and put his hand under her knuckles.

"Just... throw it up." He whispered in her ear. He slowly led his hand, aka her hand, to throw the ball up, then said, "Now hit your wrist on it!"

Emma did so and it went over the net easily. Pretty good for 'never doing it before'.

"Say Emma, weren't you on a volley ball team for a bit before you found out it took time out of your environment club?" taunted Jay, coming on over to the volley ball set.

Sean coughed, letting go of Emma. Jay gave him a look as Emma narrowed her eyes at Jay.

HOW DID HE KNOW THAT?

"No." Emma lied, still glaring. He just smirked and grabbed the ball.

"How bout a game?" he whistled to behind him, "Manny and Sean versus us." Manny heard that and happily got up, skipping over.

"Why? Since when are you into sports?" Sean seemed a bit bothered by Jay's gester.

Jay raised an eyebrow at him, isn't it _wrong _to want to be near your ex girl friend who you were obsessed with while your marrying her best friend?

They started playing, and Jay shocked Emma when he knew how to play and spiked a little heavily onto Sean a few times.

"That's it!" Sean yelled, "I quit." He stormed off and Jay chuckled, watching him go.

"Cam, it's just a game." He taunts.

"Oh babe." Manny ran after Sean.

Emma smirked a bit raising an eyebrow at Jay, "You know he hates getting beat." She looked back to Sean's way.

Kinda helped though, Sean was taking out his anger on Manny with the silent treatment. Oh the memories of when he did that to her.

Jay shrugged, "Whatever, the guys good at basketball so I can show off here."

"who are trying to impress?" Emma asked, crossing her arms.

He blinked.

Emma went on, "That Bianca girl?" she nodded to the brunette watching Jay eagerly by the table.

Jay huffed, "Been there, done _that._" He looked back to Emma who gasped but laughed, slapping his arm.

"you're such a jerk to girls!" she confirmed.

"hey." Barked Jay, "they line up knowing what their getting into."

"Oh excuse the poor girl for thinking if she slept with you, you'd still want her after." Taunted Emma.

Jay looked at her, "Did you expect anything from me when we hooked up?" he asked as casually as he could

"That was long ago." Breathed Emma with a deep sigh and laughed, "Don't think I expected anything, just needed someone, must of been more damaged than I thought when I picked you."

"Ha." Jay sarcastically said and watched her eyes go from him to curiously look at Sean.

He looked kinda happy now with Manny. Gee, not even Emma could ever get him to give up the silent treatment in less than a day.

Jay crept up behind Emma a little tauntingly, "Can you believe it? Them, getting married?" he nods to the couple.

"No." Emma said and looked away, "I can't." She bittered.

"Well then you better start." He confirmed with a serious voice and she turned, giving him a look.

"I'm _fine_ with them getting married."

Jay snorted as she turned to him, "Yeah, as fine as you were the first night you saw them together."

"I was-"

Jay cut her off, madly looking down at her, "I was there, I saw right through you, didn't take me to see you do it, didn't take me to find a bottle in your bag. I KNEW you were into something, and that _that_" he points to Manny and Sean, "was bothering you and forcing you to do more."

Emma snapped, "don't bring that up Jay!"

"Why?" he asked, "It's true, or are you mad because I'm right?"

"Knew it was crazy to think I could actually be civilized with **you**." she taunted, walking off.

It was getting dark, Jay huffed looking up at the grey sky and decided it was his cue to go.

He'd finish this later.


	3. Not Close, Just Familiar

**Thanks for the 1 review Allison haha, I've had some people favorite the story but no one is reviewing anymore : ( it's like JEMMA and old Degrassi are dying. I hope not! Review more guys! I'm going to give up soon all together aha.**

"what are you doing today, Em?" Spike asked her daughter when she came up from the basement.

Emma sighed, "Mom, do I really have to give you my minute by minute schedule?" she poured some juice in a cup.

"You know me, just worried is all." Spike insisted.

Emma gulped her last sip and breathed, "You don't have to be, mom. Please, trust me." She kissed her on the cheek and threw her cup into the sink.

"Ok." Nodded Spike a bit uneasily, then changed the subject, "Manny's having her dress hunt today right?"

"Yeah, her and Mia are picking me up right now, I should go wait outside." Emma declared and left, picking up her jacket on the way.

A silver convertable car rolled up the driveway.

"Em!" called Mia with a honk, Manny laughed at the passanger side.

Emma skipped down the porch and towards the car.

"hows this tie?" Sean asked his best men, Spinner and Jay, in a suit shop. They hung out in the changeroom in front of the mirror.

Spinner wore a black suit, didn't look too bad either, Sean wore the same one but couldn't decide on the tie or not.

Jay sat on a bench looking down at his hands. He either looked real bored or something was on his mind. Probably both.

"Why a tie? Why not a bow?" Spinner asked.

"Why not neither?" muttered Jay finally looking up.

Sean shook his head, "Manny will be pissed if I don't wear a tie.." he drifts.

Jay rolled his eyes, then choice made, "Then by all means, go for the tie."

"Can you get dressed yet?" Sean asked Jay annoyed who sighed but went to his change room.

Meanwhile, all the girls came out at the same time for Manny to view the dress she had picked out.

It was a long sleeve lace dress, with a black small but fluffy skirt. A bow belt to go around the waist. It was actually real cute. The back of the dress showed bare back until right above their hips.

"Manny it's beautiful." Mia said while twirling.

Emma looked at herself in the mirror as Manny's eyes watered happily, nodding.

Emma stared at herself. She was a bride's maid, not just that, but the maid of honor.. of Sean's wedding. She knew always she'd be Manny's but.. this was really starting to get real.

She had to work harder on this break up sheme she had going.

"Darcy said she'll meet us for lunch." Confirmed Mia going back into the change room, "she had to work late."

Emma took this as her cue as she went to sit down next to Manny.

Manny waved her hands infront of her face, "I'm trying not to ruin my makeup." She laughed sadly.

Emma smiled sadly back, glad she was happy, but couldn't she see this wasn't right?

How much this actually ate Emma up?

"So your really in love with Sean huh?" Emma asked.

Manny got serious, "Well.." she looked down to then smile, "Yeah Em, I am. It's insane, I know."

"No don't get me wrong, your perfect Manny, just don't know if he deserves you." teased Emma and she laughed.

"Em, he treats me like gold, that's all I need."

"Ok well just careful of him, I had to be." Emma said, standing back up.

Manny frowned, thinking of what she could possibly mean but nodded, "Ofcourse."

Silence.

Emma smiled a little seeing Manny really thinking that through, "Well.." drifts Manny, "I think he's changed, he's so sweet and-"

"Sean? Sweet?" smiled Emma, trying not to laugh. She thought Jay would of even enjoyed that one. Sean threw punches if you just looked at him the wrong way!

Manny shut up and looked around. Ok, maybe not ALWAYS sweet but when alone with him-

"Lets go get some lunch then huh?" Emma offered and went back to change.

Manny bluntly nodded, but picked at her nails nervously.

"Woooowww." Manny said, following Darcy who set up lunch arrangements at an expensive brunch restaurant. Glass windows all around them, white covered tables with red wine on each table.

They noticed the boys already there and Emma walked with Mia toward their booth.

"How's boy's day been?" Manny teased Sean with a giggle, sitting down next to him.

Emma rolled her eyes and decided to take a seat far on the other side, that of course Jay sat on with Bianca on the other side of him.

Emma decided to jump into the conversation Mia was having with Spinner across from her.

"I'm going to go get a drink from the buffett." Bianca declared, standing and purred to Jay, "I'll go get your fav kind of beer."

Jay looked up a bit weirdly but just nodded with a shrug. Cool, personal slave? Why not.

He heard Emma snicker beside him, eating her salad.

"What?" Jay asks her, "You're mad at me but that means you can sit beside me and laugh at me?"

"Exactly what it means." Emma taunted biting a salad off her fork before getting up for some more. Now he knew how highschool felt with him torchering her.

Sean sat with Manny until noticing Emma go back to the buffett, he excused himself and followed.

"Hey." He said, going beside her as she picked out some fruits and snacks.

She looked over and simply greeted back, "Hey," she laughs lighly, "What's up with you?"

"Nothing's up with me." He quickly says.

Emma just nodded, sneaking a glance at him to catch him watching her. Curiousity killed the cat Mr Cameron, and hopefully also kills your betrayful relationship with her best friend.

"I know this is all wierd." He finally admits, "So I think we should hang out more, for Manny's sake." He coughs a bit.

Emma raised an eyebrow. For Manny's sake huh? Good excuse.

"Alright." She shrugs effortlessly but did snoopy dances in her head. It's working.

He nodded before fleeing back to the booth.

Odd.

Emma grabbed one more strawberry before turning the other way toward the salad bar and almost smacked into, "JAY"

"Maybe you should watch where you're going love bird?" he suggested.

"Love bird, really? That's all you got?" Emma snickered.

Jay followed her to the salad bar, "So tell me, are you actually still obsessed over him or are you just a heartless girl trying to get back the glory days which includes your first boyfriend?"

"First of all, don't you give me lectures about being Heartless. Second of all, I don't know what you're trying to say, but if you don't stop it-"

Jay cut her off, "What are _you _going to do?" Jay taunted with a hysterical look knowing this girl could do nothing to him.

Well, physically at least.

Emma fumed, "What do you want from me?" she snapped in a whisper.

Jay paused for a moment. Good question.

Emma shook her head, she was so confused.

Jay looked back at her and finally spoke, "I'll help you get him back."

"What? That's...that's not what I want!" Emma stuttered nervously.

"Sure." Snorted Jay, grabbing a strawberry off her plate. Ugh, jerk! She wanted that.

Emma's mouth fell and then insisted, "Manny is my.."

"He's already been staring at you all day so I'm going to say you got a pretty good chance and already started the 'get Sean back' mission. He probably still gets off thinking your still all virtue and stuff, hey does he know we slept together after the shooting?" Jay said ever so bluntly while chewing the strawberry.

Emma hissed, "No but I could tell him that STD I got was from you."

Jay clenched his jaw, oh right, that. He didn't feel like getting punched tonight.

"Alright, Nancy Drew, fair game." He said, "But my offer still stands, what better in than with his best friend?"

Emma thought about it, it was true.

"fine." She then eyed him, "What's in it for you?"

Almost casually, Jay pulled her hand and led her back to the table. The oddest thing was, Emma didn't even tug it out. She's known Jay for years you know, holding hands wasn't so bad when it meant nothing right? Been there, done that, didn't work out. This was just casual.

Emma didn't even notice how wierd it must of looked for the others until Bianca was staring at them as they sat.

Emma then huffed and tried pulling her hand out, Jay gripped it. Right. There was the deal, it was so obvious, he wanted her to get Bianca off his back.

But someone else saw these two holding hands and Manny giggled to Sean, "Looks like forbidden love is blossoming across the table."

Sean's eyes darted from smiling at her to looking at what she meant and frowned deeply, almost madly. Jay held Emma's hand while stealing her strawberrys.

Emma was trying to slap Jay's fingers away but he just ate them anyway and looked tauntingly at her, kind of a 'Ha ha!' look on his face. When she rolled her eyes at him he gave her a view of the chumped up strawberry's in his mouth.

"Ew!" Emma exclaimed but laughed, pushing her hand against his cheek to turn it away from her and he chuckled.

Manny continued watching them a bit in adoration. She did notice Sean look away though a bit bothered, and she could tell he was by it, but she wouldn't say anything, being glad Emma was finally taking a notice in Jay... or was she? Anyway...

If Emma hadn't noticed yet, like Manny did, Jay was always around Emma when she came home. Jay never intentionally hurt her, just liked to tease her. It was cute! And he never judged her once for the whole drugs mishap.

...like everyone else did...

Manny knew it was wrong now to have sided with everyone that Emma shouldn't have had a beer when she first came home. She now knew Emma was capable of being strong now, she had just graduated from rehab and was totally fine again! She didn't need nurses anymore, that's why she was finally allowed to go. And out of all people, Jay knew that?

Before Manny?

Clearly he cared for Emma a lot and knew her better than most. And in his own way he shows he cares, he always spoke out, maybe not in the most charming way, but he also stood right behind her whenever something was going on.. just in case she needed him. Manny wondered if Emma ever noticed that. Actually, Manny's never even seen Jay have a friend that was a girl, yes you couldn't really say they were BEST FRIENDS but they went to another for back up or to talk to, or to just bug. Yes, Jay HAD to care for Emma, so.. what was it?

Did he have a dysfunctional friendly love for her?

Or was he INLOVE with her?

Manny tilted her head curiously watching the two again, Jay decided to leave the other two strawberry's for Emma who happily popped it into her mouth. While talking to Spinner, Jay on reflex passed Emma his water while still speaking to Spinner.

Manny smiled, defiantly in love!

Later that night the girls were having a slumber like old times, her, Darcy, Mia, Manny...and ofcourse that wierd new comer that was obsessed with Jay, Bianca.

"Where did you even meet her?" Mumbled Emma sitting on the sink as Manny brushed her hair.

They both changed into pajama's for the girls night.

Manny gave Emma a smirk and laid her brush down.

"Aren't you the jealous type." Manny said, pinching her cheeks, "You know your my first love."

Emma smiled until frowning, "Not jealous." She mumbled.

"Maybe not of her becoming my friendddd." Sang Manny thinking back to earlier when Jay grabbed Emma's hand infront of Bianca.

Was Emma jealous over Bianca liking Jay?

Emma, confused, shook her head, "I don't even know what that means." She confirmed.

"She and Jay have a thing I think." Manny said, liking to play match maker, just call her Miss Cupid! She looked at Emma to see if she could read off her jealousy.

Emma rolled her eyes, "Jay has a thing with a lot of girls." That he did, the only relationship he had was with Alex and he cheated on her.

What girl DIDN'T he cheat on?

"That's what I love about Sean, he's only had 3 girls, and only slept with one of them."

Emma went silent.

Did she mean the slut he went to after their break up? Amy? Or Ellie, the goth he tried to move on from Emma with.

Manny reached for her hair brush again before freezing as well, "Oh Em.. I-I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Why would I care." Emma snickered, not looking at Manny though as she shrugged.

Manny softened, "Because.." she drifted off not being able to explain it. Even if she was over Craig, she wouldn't want to know all the details of him sleeping with girls before or after their break up. One, it was a private matter, and Two, brought old jealous feelings up... even though she couldn't be any happier with Sean Cameron, it was just reflex.

Emma changed the subject, "So how'd you meet Bianca?" she brought up again.

"You are threatened by her." Laughed Manny pulled her hair into a pony tail.

Emma got up, outraged, "No I'm not! I don't know why I'd be.." Emma drifted off, confused with what she was even defending and walked off.

"Em!" called Manny but laughed when she didn't return.

The girls finally laid down for a movie.

"Is Spin single again?" asked a curious Darcy on the couch.

Mia smirked from the floor on blankets, she rolled her eyes to Manny, that whole thing again? Please god no.

Emma giggled too and answered, "Yes, but dating him again would be like watching your favorite movie over and over.. you know how it's going to end Darc."

Darcy looked like she was thinking about it then shrugged with a nod, "Your right."

Bianca threw a popcorn in her mouth, "Jay's single." She said matter- of- factly.

"Jay's always single, Bianca." Darcy said right on beat and laughed, "But he does date.. alot of girls.." she drifts each moment with a wider smile, "lots of girls actually...at the same time."

All the girls started smiling or giggling, agreeing. Emma raised an eyebrow throwing a popcorn in her mouth, same ol' Jay then. She figured!

"Emma, did you use to date Jay?" Bianca said out of no where.

Emma choked on the popcorn in her mouth and dove for her water. What the hell? Why would that be any of her business? And even if they did or didn't, didn't Bianca see Jay was NOT into her?

"I mean.." Bianca drifts, "You guys just look _close_." She said the word so bitterly.

Emma fought the urge to roll her eyes, "We're not close we're just familiar." She insisted, her cheeks felt hot.

"Oh come on, Em." Manny spoke up, "You guys are close in your own sickish way." She smirked at Emma's harsh glare.

"It's true.." Mia admitted, looking up at the ceiling in though, "You two are always around another."

"Well I don't like him!" exclaimed Emma, sitting up defensibly. Bianca narrowed her eyes at her. "I'm getting more water." Emma said, rubbing her sore throat.

She just almost had a heart attack!

What a rude question!

Emma was in the kitchen when her phone went off, Sean texted her.

**S: Ice cream tomorrow?**

Emma smiled, yes!

**E: Cookie dough?**

**S: Ofcourse!**

Emma giggled and texted back while raising an eyebrow, no harm in flirting..

**E: Just like old times.**

**S: Wouldn't have it any other way. Pick you up at 6.**

Emma closed her phone to glance out the doorway to the living room. Manny looked clueless, laughing with their friends.


	4. That Boy Is Mine

Emma got dressed in her cutest outfit the next morning. Black short jean shorts and a white elbow sleeve tight V shirt. She was sure to wear her push up bra. Hehe. She then hairsprayed her hair and waved it out a bit, teasing around the head. Then, mascara. Yeah that's right! She was o'natural. And she looked GOOD!

Emma skipped down the steps when Sean had told her he'd be waiting. She wore her cute tight combat black boots.

"Wow, you look.." Sean drifts off in amazement to then blink hard, this isn't a date! "Ready?" he tried snapping out of it and crossed his arms.

"Ready!" Emma declared and followed him to his car, or not. His motorcycle. Emma stopped walking.

Sean heard her stop and turned, "You alright?" he asked worried.

"Your bike?" Emma asks uneasily. So...unsafe.

She noticed Sean smile. Same old Emma.

He replied, "Yeah. Manny hates it too but I have my car in the shop. Jay's working on the engine."

Emma raised her eyebrows, slowly walking over to it.

"Don't worry." Sean said walking around her to help her on, "I'll keep you safe." He huskily said.

Emma gave a small smile as he smirked down at her to then blink and shove a helmet on her head, getting on.

Emma frowned and gave him a 'what the hell was that!' look, but he didn't notice it, being infront of her and all, that's when they noticed how close they were and how her thighs rested against his.

Sean finally coughed through the erotic awkward silence, "You gotta hold onto me." He tossed over his shoulder.

Emma bit the end of her tounge. No dumb dumb! This is what you want! Emma then wrapped her arms around him.

Sean couldn't help it, he bashfully smiled. Emma was always the good girl, he the 'bad boy', finally getting her on his bike was a dream of his since highschool...finally it was coming true.

Emma smiled too as he starting to drive down the road.

Good. This mission had defiantly begun.

"No way! You did that?" Emma asked Sean sitting in the dot and giggling like mad.

Sean nodded, laughing as well and sneaking admiring glances at her, "I never told any one that story! I knew you'd enjoy it."

Emma covered her mouth and tried to stop laughing.

Their ice cream had been eaten an hour and a half ago. They couldn't stop talking about nothing, just anything.

"Uh ohhh." Sang another voice as two heavy foot steps stopped infront of them, almost taungingly looking down at them like they'd found their prey.

Jay.

Emma stopped laughing and looked up at him. She suddenly felt.. a rush of guilt. Wait? Why would she feel guilty?

Besides, Jay said he'd even help her get Sean back.

"I just ruined your secret then cause I just heard that story." Jay's sarcasm bled through his mouth, "Now me and Em are the ONLY two people _alive _to hear that corny, not even funny, story." He smiled widely, so full of fakeness.

Emma gave Jay a knowing look. He was famous for his sarcasm.

Sean sighed, annoyed at being mocked by Jay so much lately, more than usual.

"Is my car ready or are you just being your usual asshole self?" Sean asked Jay.

Emma raised an eyebrow at Jay tauntingly. Hahaaa! He just snickered at her and rolled his blue eyes, amused.

"I wouldn't say asshole, maybe usual entertaining asshole self. You guys looked bored so.." he drifted off looking between them then at Emma, raising an eyebrow.

She gave him a look back, "We were actually just having a great time." She taunts.

"Til you came over." Adds Sean, nodding.

Jay gave an incredible look and asked, "Really? Looked like you were just trying to find anything to talk about so it wasn't so quiet that you guys could hear another think about how much you want another."

Emma's eyes widen and Sean's eyes snapped down to the table.

"Jay!" Emma hissed loudly.

"Maybe you should leave." Sean confirmed, finally looked up as Jay gave an innocent 'why' position with his arms.

"I was just getting lunch anyways." Jay said with a wink, walking over to the counter and whistling Spin over who waved.

Silence.

Emma awkwardly shifted.

Sean coughed, "I-I'm just..gonna go call Manny."

"Aright..." Emma nodded, watching him go. Her eyes then shot to Jay, and fumed, she flew up and went right for him.

She leaned on the counter beside him as he waited for his order.

"You said you were going to help." Emma snapped, shaking her head at him. She couldn't believe him!

"I am helping." Shrugged Jay, not looking at her.

Emma snickered, throwing her arms up, "How!" he finally looked at her

Silence.

Jay huffed and nodded towards the bathroom Sean went into, "Just called him out on it. He's not calling Manny in there, he's pacing back and forth. He's confused now, embarrassed I caught him, he'll run away, then run to you, you get him when he's down, BAM, he's yours."

He got his order and rolled his eyes as he just threw money on the counter. Even Spinner gave a 'hey!' kind of look. He then walked out as Emma slowly nodded, impressed.

She said out loud, "That does actually kind of work." She looked back watching Jay leave but he turned when he heard her say that.

"Yeah just try to not think about all that guilt and dirty vibes running through you." he taunts while walking backwards towards the exit.

Emma crossed her arms madly and snapped, "I don't feel guilty! Maybe now and then but then remember they did this to me, and Manny! Manny knew he was mine."

Jay looked around at the listeners, he didn't want a show so he stormed over to Emma. His blood just.. BOILED, because of her sometimes.

"He was yours?" taunts Jay in a harsh whisper.

"Yes!" Emma whispered back madly.

Jay leaned down close to her, she could feel his rage, it made her feel bad and a bit uneasy. She's never seen him so mad, specially at her. He's actually never been mad at, or around, her.

Jay asked Emma, "When? When you dumped him when he pushed you? Was he still yours then? When he dumped you just to 'be cool' with me, totally losing the best thing he'd probably ever have, were you screaming to the world 'yeah! That's my man!'?" Jay yelled out in sarcasm.

Emma swallowed the lump in her throat. Well..no, but-

"Or when he moved miles away? Was he still yours? When you were getting hot and bothered with Poin Dexter?" Jay sneered, raising an eyebrow, she opened her mouth but he cut her off, "Yeah. I hear things." He snapped.

With that, he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Emma was still staring in awe at where he left.

What..the..Hell.

"Fuck." Emma said out loud, finally breathing the air she didn't know she held in.

She was a bit in shock.

When Sean came out, she agreed it was best she went back.

Emma dragged herself into her door, so many things rushing through her head.

"EM!" she heard and jumped.

Manny ran into the entrance from the living room, Emma's eyes widened. Did she see Sean drop her off?

Emma smiled awkwardly, "Manny! You scared me, didn't know you were here!"

"Where were you? Been waiting for you for hours." Pouted Manny, walking over to their sterio.

Emma shrugged, "Just places." She lied.

Jays words haunted her, _"Yeah just try to not think about all that guilt and dirty vibes running through you."_

Emma shook her head and ran a hand through her hair feeling kind of stressed out.

Manny looked up from the sterio and eyed Emma, "Why you looking so... guilty?"

Emma's heart stopped.

"I'm not." She squeeked.

Manny raised an eyebrow, what was Emma up to? Last time she acted like this.. she was sneaking around with Peter.

Manny smirked, WAS EMMA running around with JAY again?

"Uh huh." Giggled Manny to then press play on the sterio, "Well, I think we need to catch up on old traditions."

Emma looked confused as she tried to listen to the song beginning to play, "Old?... Oh no!" she exclaimed.

_**Yo, VIP, let's kick it!**_

"Oh yes!" confirmed Manny, laughing hysterically as she grabbed Emma's hand.

_**Ice ice baby  
>Ice ice baby<br>All right stop  
>Collaborate and listen<br>Ice is back with my brand new invention  
>Something grabs a hold of me tightly<br>Then I flow that a harpoon daily and nightly  
><strong>_

"MAnnyyyy noooo." Emma whined. Manny pulled Emma's hand into the living room, it was just them now at Emma's house a few days later.

"Em, we haven't done it since highschool!" Manny confirmed, dragging Emma beside her til they were standing next to her.

_**Will it ever stop?  
>Yo, I don't know<br>Turn off the lights and I'll glow  
>To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal<br>Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle**_

"Fiine." Emma groaned. As soon as the next chorus hit, the two started dancing the same dance they made up in grade 7 when they were 12.

_**Dance!  
>Bum rush the speaker that booms<br>I'm killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom  
>Deadly, when I play a dope melody<br>Anything less that the best is a felony  
><strong>_

Emma and Manny did twists, turns, flips and even the 'disco' move, giggling uncontrollably as they danced to the music.

_**Love it or leave it  
>You better gain way<br>You better hit bull's eye  
>The kid don't play<br>If there was a problem  
>Yo, I'll solve it<br>Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it**_

"ohhhh yeahhh!" sang Manny as they swung their hips slowly to the ground and then crashed on the ground together, head by head, laughing.

Emma tried to catch her breath as they sang the repeated end part of 'Ice, Ice, baby' softly. She felt herself get a little sad.

Why was she feeling so sad? She got lost in thought.

Manny caught her breath, "Now what do we do after our performance?" she asked sitting up.

Emma smiled wide from the ground and replied, "eat chips and cry over soap operas."

"With a BIG bowl of popcorn don't forget!" Manny jumped up and ran to the kitchen.

"You don't change." Emma admitted with that big smile still across her face until she frowned.

She sat up slowly and sighed sadly, looking down at the ground.

"And that's why you love me!" came Manny's shout.

Emma played with her hands and just slowly nodded.


	5. I think We're Alone Now

Sean had been texting Emma all weekend, but today was all about Manny.

Emma tried to ignore her phone that was buzzing, he was texting her non stop.

**S: I really think we should talk.**

**E: Can we talk later? With Manny**

**S: exactly what I want to talk about. Emma there's something between us still..**

Emma turned off her phone. Emma didn't know why, but since the other day she has been in a funk.

"What about these flowers? Think Sean would like them?" Manny asked Emma.

Emma snapped out of it, they were at a wedding planners shop going through flowers.

Emma smiled softly, "It's your wedding, he won't care." She confirms.

Manny nodded, "So true, this is ALL about me." The wedding planner laughed with her as Emma got lost in thought about a scene that was made a few days ago at the dot...

Her eyes then fell on something passing the window of the store. Speak of the devil!

Jay shockingly came into the shop and Emma's eyes followed him into the store as Manny turned and gasped.

"good your here!" exclaimed Manny, clapping her hands together.

Emma clenched her jaw when Jay didn't even look at her. He just sighed in boredom at Manny and shrugged.

"So, what's this favor?" he asked and she raised two pocket flowers for a tuxedo, probably for Sean.

"For Sean. Blue or red?" she asked.

Jay scoffed, that was all she wanted? He then gave up, he huffed, "Red."

"But his eyes would pop out a lot more with Blue." Whined Manny, looking at the flowers.

Both Emma and Jay rolled their eyes.

"Then fucking pick the blue, I don't know!" Jay said, awfully annoyed.

"Then why'd you come?" pouted Manny, he was no help. She then smirked seeing him avoiding Emma's eyes, he also seemed very on edge.

Oh the two were SO sneaking around with another.

"fine." She confirms, eyeing him. It's like a light bulb went over her head, "Jay your coming to lunch."

It sounded like a demand, not a question.

"No thanks." He confirms.

"Wasn't a question." She declared, dragging him out the door.

Emma grumbled before following.

"So you and Bianca, is that like, over?" Manny asked Jay, playing with her food while trying to hide her smile.

They sat in a cozy dim lighted restaurant.

Emma played with her food as well and just rolled her pretty brown eyes, staring glumly at the food.

Jay leaned back in his seat, dinging his fork down on his plate and eyed Emma who wouldn't look at him.

He looked back at Manny, squinting his eyes, "I don't know, maybe I'll give her another go." He said dully.

"on a date or in the sack?" Emma taunted, still not looking at him and took a glorious bite out of her food.

He clenched his jaw.

Manny giggled, "Cute." She noted of the two.

Both Emma and Jay looked up, giving her 'what?' looks and she stuttered "U-uh the way Bianca is I mean, such a cute girl." She confirms.

Manny didn't want Emma to know she knew, she didn't want Emma to run off scared, Jay could actually be really good for her. She never noticed how perfect it'd be. Emma would call Jay on all his bullshit, make him a better person and he wouldn't be scared to stick up to her on her rampages. He'd know how to handle her.

"That she is." Jay said, loud and clear, stealing Emma's strawberrys off her plate.

WHY DID HE ALWAYS DO THAT? Emma fumed.

"Then why don't you go ask her out to dinner and leave ours be?" snapped Emma at Jay, motioning to herself and Manny. She hit his hand when he went for her food again, "stop!"

"Is that jealousy I hear?" he shot back.

"No, it's disgust." She replied quickly, sticking her nose up. How dare he!

"not my type anyways." Jay muttered about Bianca, picking up his glass of sprite.

"Girl is your type." Emma informed bitterly. At least she knew what she wanted. She- she wanted.. she wanted.

Damn it, nevermind. All she knew was she had a goal to get Sean.

Silence.

Emma scoffed, trying to lighten the mood and playfully taunted, "Well if you want a runner up, you always got my mom."

"what?" Jay asked confused and a bit grossed out when he repeated what she said in his head.

She giggled, "Nothing."

"Ew, your mom has a crush on Jay!" Manny exclaimed in a giggle fest too, Emma joined in too, "Sean maybe, but Jay!"

"Hey I got more than Sean can ever offer." Jay exclaimed madly as both girls laughed harder until he noticed he was fighting for Emma's moms affection, ew gross, "Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore." He pushed his plate away.

Emma shrugged, "I'll eat it." He gave her a look and she smiled.

That weekend, Jay stared at himself in the mirror, actually wearing a suit, no tie or bow though thank god, even with a suit though, Jay still looked bad ass.

2 more weeks until the wedding, supposedly Sean and Manny picked out a field where they were going to get married, with a big white tent and a private beach behind it.

2 more weeks. Jay repeated in his mind..

"Hey good lookin'." Spinner said, coming into the dressing room with the mirrors beside Jay and gave him a playful wink.

Jay snorted at him and rolled his eyes as Sean stepped in and stopped and stared at his reflection too, but more in shock.

He finally blurted out, "Why haven't you guys stopped me from doing this?"

Spinner gave a confused look, but Jay glared knowing what was going on in Sean's head. Emma.

"Manny's good for you, your good for each other." Spinner confirmed.

Jay taunted, "you asked her before I could stop you." he joked. He thought Manny was good for Sean too.

They both got stubborn, so knew exactly how to calm the other down. Their fights were only good excuses to make up. And Emma was too good and smart for Sean. Jay silently chuckled.

Sean asked them, "Well, if could.. would you still?" he slowly says, "I mean, who else would you think was good for me?"

Now Jay was really glaring, no more jokes. Backing out of your wedding 2 weeks before it? Charming. I mean yeah, he told Emma he'd help her and she was already winning this but he thought she be her old good self and notice this isn't what she wanted.

I mean.. she was going to notice that right? That Sean wasn't for her..

"Nobody." Jay finally snapped, darting his eyes to Spinner, "Spins right, Manny's good for you." he barked back at Sean.

Sean shut up and blinked. Where'd that anger come from? Sean thought Jay didn't even like Manny.

"yeah. Right."

Over on the other side of town, the girls waited for Manny to come out to show off her wedding dress

"Okay I can't hold it in anymore." Darcy said, turning to Emma, "your having an affair with Jay Hogart again!" she squeled.

Emma's eyes widened. WHAT?

"Darcy! You weren't stuppose to say anything." Hissed Manny behind the door.

"MANNY!" exclaimed Emma, her mouth dropped to the floor. Her cheeks burned and her heart started racing, "That's not even true!"

"Emma your phone goes off like crazy! And I heard your phone call at 3 am telling SOMEBODY you missed them too." Giggled Manny outside the door.

Emma's eyes widened, she had finally called Sean back and he admitted he missed her, she admitted it too, but that was all! No 'i love you still' confession! MANNY HEARD?

"Plus the way you and Jay acted over dinner the other day.." drifts Manny, Emma could hear the smirk on her face.

Oh god, she had to say it was Jay now, nothing else worked.

"Uh y-ya." She stuttered nervously, "Just don't say anything." She pleaded.

Darcy eyed her, "Why Em? About time you dated since that slime ball Kelly who got into that big whole mess."

"And Em, who was right beside you when it all went down?" the door opened and Manny stepped out, "Jay!"

Emma's mouth fell, everyones did. Not just because of the Jay comment but how beautiful Manny looked.

She really looked like a princess.

Manny then grinned seeing everyones faces and twirled around.

Emma couldn't help it. Manny had grown up so much, they weren't little girls anymore, Manny was having her fairy tale wedding, just like they use to plan together, and she looked **beautiful** in her white gown dress.

Emma's eyes watered as all the girls gawked and aw'd.

Manny's eyes widened, "Oh Em!" she ran to the blonde.

Emma bursted into tears and waved her hand infront of her, "I'm okay, I'm okay." She didn't want Manny to embrace her or comfort her. She was going behind Manny's back trying to get Sean back, the last thing Manny should want is too comfort **her.**

"Are you okay?" pouted Manny, a few tears coming to her eyes as she watched her best friend, no, sister, cry at the sight of her.

And then Emma noticed, her tears weren't sad tears, they were happy tears. Emma tried to laugh as she whipped her eyes and nodded, "I'm fine. Go get back into your clothes, ice cream on me." She smiled to the girls who cheered.

As everyone waited for Manny, Emma sat on her chair still looking a bit out of it, she stared down at the ground.

"So why'd you call me here?" Jay asked Emma, sitting down with her at a table in a bar.

Emma already had a few shots and he took in the sight, she had pinkish eyes, had she been crying? She was sort of swaying in her seat too. She was always a light weight.

"I thought if I were to get drunk..." drifts Emma as the waiter came over laying two beers down for them, "Might as well be with the king of drunk!" she confirms, motioning her hand at him.

"Barely drink that much anymore." Confessed Jay but took a gulp and took in the sight of her. She looked like she snapped or something, went off the deep end, without the cocain this time thankfully though.

Emma snickered taking a few gulps before replying, "Well just do it tonight okay? For me." She confirms.

Jay looked her up and down bitterly but nervously, "Why would I do anything for you?" he tried to laugh it off, avoiding her eyes.

"You do tons for me weather you know it or not." Taunted Emma with an innocent shrug.

"No I don't." Jay said a bit childishly, snickering unbelievably, Emma did the same at him, he so did!

Jay clenched his jaw eyeing her. Maybe she didn't snap in the bad way, maybe she was realizing something, realizing what he was trying so hard for her to understand.

"Were you with Sean today?" he asked, waving at the bar tender with one of Emma's old shot, motioning for another.

He'd need one to talk about **that **couple.

Emma huffs, "no, Manny." She answered, shaking her head like she had a big day.

Jay looked at her until she glared.

"What?"

"Goooo on." He taunts, impatient as he got his shot and downed it. Emma laughed. He was still his party animal self, took a shot like a man.

Emma just shook her head, "Don't want to talk about it. Need distraction. Distract me." She confirms.

Jay smirked putting his beer to his lips, "Do I distract you Miss Nelson?"

Emma glared at his weak flirtation, trying to just get an easy lay, nu uh! Not tonight, not from her you-you womanizing heart breaking..you!

"Hardly." She playfully shot back and he smirked at her, gulping his beer down.

He then stared at his empty beer bottle and Emma tilted her head curiously at him until blinking when he looked up at her wonderingly.

"What do you plan on doing after you get Sean back?" Jay asked.

Emma wasn't ready for that one.

What did she plan?

Emma snickered softly, slowly shrugging, "I don't know.." she drifts cluelessly. She figured maybe she'd know when she had him back or something.

Jay snorted, shaking his head at her and just nodded, "Right.." he breathed, rolling his eyes.

Emma got mad and sobered right up, "Have you even fallen inlove before Jay?" she snapped.

Jay laughed again, still looking down at his beer bottle carelessly as she glared at him.

"what's so funny?" Emma asked, he ignored, she went on, "Love is something you're going to miss out on your whole life Jay, cause in the end, no one will love you, you'll have no one, all the girls you only had one nighters with, they'll grow old with someone who treats them so much better, and they will love them! And you, you will die alone." She confirmed.

"You think you're alone?" Jay asks, finally looking up at her, right into her eyes, not even that phased by her speech, he actually turned it around on **her**. That little-

And it hit Emma, deep. What? No. She wasn't worried, she didn't.. she didn't think that, did she?

"That not what I was saying." Emma confirmed, crossing her arms stubbornly.

"You're saying I'll die alone because I won't keep a girl." Jay confirms, spreading his arms arm in a matter of factly way, "Because I don't _love _anyone." He said, eyeing her. He then leaned forward, "Your trying to get Sean back, but you don't have him, not yet, maybe not ever, so right now? Your alone... do you think your going to die alone? Is that why your so worried?" he was almost looking right into her soul.

Emma wanted to slap him across the face.

"I wanna go home." Emma declared, ignoring him but it got to her so bad her stomach felt sick and her heart was sinking.

Jay leaned back with a shrug, "I'm drink, can't drive." He declared, like she had no other choice but to stay with him.

Emma glared and got up, leaning over the table and into his jackets pocket and took his keys.

He grabbed her wrist and she gasped, looking at him, inches from anothers faces. He gave her a stern look and slowly said, "10 more minutes." He confirmed.

Emma swallowed hard so close to him but nodded, slowly sitting back down.

She was done drinking.

Jay wasn't as he sipped his beer, still eyeing her. She hated when he did this. What was he thinking?

The bar door opened and in came Bianca with Jay's old friend Lucas.


	6. You Really Got Me Bad

**Thanks for the review Allie! Haha, glad you like it. I love them too! They both bring such spunk to the show, I don't understand why Degrassi writers didn't see they had a lot of shipping fans for them, should of kept going with them! **

Jay saw Emma recognize someone and turned to look over his shoulder, "Luke!" he called to then curse, noticing Bianca.

"Hey buddy" Lucas greeted, coming over.

Jay shut his eyes in annoyance as they came to sit down with them, Emma gave him a bitter smile. Good, that's what he gets for being an asshole.

"Emma Nelson right?" Lucas asked Emma, remembering the blonde, well remembered hearing about her and seeing her places.

"Yeah.." Drifts Emma a little awkwardly, how did he know? She's seen him around but was never introduced.

Jay shoved his beer at Lucas, "Just shut up and drink, you don't have to talk to her." He shot Emma a look who glared. He then coughed awkwardly, what was up with him?

Bianca watched between them. So it was true, they were having an affair. Well she'll just have to make Jay jealous won't she!

How little she knew..

"Me and Lucas are on a date." Bianca said, sticking her nose up.

Jay just pierced his lips together, opening his eyes a bit more while nodding. COOL! Not really though..

"Woah, nothing official or anything." Lucas said with a chuckle, Jay joined in.

"Here's some more beers guys." The waiter said, coming over and putting some down.

Emma leaned back in her seat with a huff. Jay looked over at her raising an eyebrow and Lucas noticed the tantrum too.

"What's wrong _little girl_?" Jay taunted, opening another beer.

Lucas laughed. He liked the two's relationship, it was so.. entertaining.. appealing.

"Men." Emma just grumbled back in her seat, both the guys shared smiling looks.

"Here, here sister." Muttered Bianca while rolling her eyes.

Emma cringed, she did not need someone like Bianca agreeing with her.

"One." Jay said, lifting a finger, "You don't deal with 'men'. You just got out of your teen years, you just turned 20." He said matter of factly.

Emma eyed him, why'd he have to know everything about her.

She sarcastically replied, "oh then please tell me how people in your age area work then King Cupid.." Jay was only what? Almost 2 years older? How could things be different only a little older?

Lucas laughed out loud looking to Jay, "I like her!"

Jay leaned forward on his chair again as Emma stayed leaned back in hers across from him. Both eyed another like prey.

"It's easy." Jay confirms to her, "we don't work.. at least so hard on trying to find 'the one', you can't find it Emma, it comes to you." he snapped.

Lucas raised an eyebrow and Emma shifted a bit in her seat also, Bianca looked adorably at Jay.

"I didn't think you felt that way'' Bianca gushed.

Jay narrowed his eyes at her and huffed, "I don't." He coughed.

"But you just said-"

"We should get going." Jay cut her off and stood up, eyeing Emma like if she didn't get up he'd force her up.

She ignored him playfully.

"You see Bianca, guys just says things." She told her.

Jay snorted and Lucas agreed, "Girls play games as much as the next guy."

"Oh really, but as much as _Jay?_?" Emma taunted as he reached in his pocket for his wallet to get money.

He kept eyes on his wallet, trying not to show what she had said bothered him, "Bianca did you not sleep with me even after I told you I don't date?" he asked.

"Yes but-"

Jay looked up from his wallet to Emma, "There you have it, girls know Emma, I don't do a **thing** to them, they hurt themselves."

"I don't remember you warning me once upon a time." She mumbled, not like it was a big deal but-

Suddenly a bang hit the table where Jay madly slammed his money down, glaring at Emma, "I **wasn't** the one that left _you_ in the dust." He sneered, banging his finger on the table when he said 'you' so bitterly.

Emma's eyes widened a bit, staring at him until looking away a bit guilty. He was right. **She** left him. A flashback from years ago came to mind:

"_I can't do this anymore." Emma said, while back stage from the Dracula highschool play. Jay was behind the curtain before she went back on, he helped build the set for the play, hey.. it was better than detention!_

_He looked at her like she was insane, "No." He said shaking his head and she tried to leave, he grabbed her hand, "Em, I like how you had.." he searched desperately for the word, "virtue or whatever." _

_She looked sadly at him shaking her head, telling him no. They couldn't be. She was coming to terms he couldn't ever be relationship material, as much as she'd want him to be. He was gorgeous, stood on his own two feet, was intimidating but knew how to crack jokes and make her laugh as easily as she could make him. _

Emma came back to, shaking her head.

"Let's go." Jay growled, eyes not on her anymore and headed for the door.

Both Lucas and Bianca looked a bit shocked by Jay's out burst. Emma looked at them nervously as she got up. They gave her looks until she slowly left.

Jay leaned on his same ol' famous orange civic, waiting for her outside the bars parking lot.

Emma tried to lighten the mood, he couldn't of been THAT mad, just a drunk outburst, not like he still wanted her or anything.. he could have anybody.

"You still have this piece of junk?" she teased.

He just grumbled under his breath tossing his keys at her and got into the passanger side.

She gave a questionable look. He showed up to the bar with her as a wreck, now they totally switched places. What was eating him?

They drove the car in silence, Emma snuck glances at him, seeing Jay trying to calm down. When he snuck a glance at her noticing how upset she looked as she drove, he softened up a bit and looked out the window.

Emma thought to herself, he was probably just mad about her always basically calling him a whore. He couldn't be possibly mad she left him back then could he? I mean, Jay was hard to read but, he never REALLY liked her, did he?

"I won't say those things anymore." Emma finally grumbled, god she hated apologizing, especially to Jay Hogart.

Jay just muttered, "Whatever."

"Jay your just famous for being a cheater, I was just joking." She confirms passing him a look, he was narrowing her eyes at her again, she angered, "Even Manny and Darcy say things like that! You don't yell at them"

"I don't care what they think." He snickered, "And you know what, I'm not ALWAYS a cheater." He mumbled, crossing his arms, "didn't cheat on you."

Emma laughed at him, "We weren't together, but you did cheat on your girl friend with me though."

"no way. Well yeah." Jay said, furrowing his eyebrows when he actually thought about it, "But when I hooked up with you, I never slept with her, barely talked to her or kissed her, just that one time in the hall to make you jealous."

"Oh Prince Charming." Taunted Emma playfully. The booze was really hittin' him tonight!

Jay sat up more, "And the STD thing? I hooked up with Amy before you even looked my way, I must of had it for a bit but didn't notice it really, too stoned and stupid, and when I went to you.. well, you know rest doncha."

"Vaguely." Emma lied, ofcourse she remembered getting an STD, she then took a breather, "Besides, I'm long over it remember? It's ok." She shrugged.

Jay frowned deeply, he wasn't apolizing for the STD, he was trying to tell her something.

"God your stupid." He muttered, looking out the window again.

She gasped but laughed, looking at him. After a moment she finally replied, "Well your a jerk."

Jay smirked still looking out the window, "Nice 5 minute delay comeback."

"Shut up."

Suddenly her phone gave two beeps.

She looked at Jay who narrowed his eyes at her phone in his cup holder.

Emma bit her lip nervously and went to grab it but he grabbed it first and read her text message from Sean.

**S: I'm glad we could admit we missed another, but I need 2 see u , need 2 c if there's still something between us. Can't stop thinking about u, I hate doing this to Manny...**

"He's SENDING you this shit?" Jay asked madly.

Emma shrugged slowly, "It's what I wanted." Her eyes seemed to daze a bit and she looked glum.

"Why haven't you texted back? He's given you three other desperate messages" snickered Jay going through the texts.

He wanted to puke. Then find Sean and punch him. Then puke again.

Emma couldn't answer his question.

She didn't know why, "Are you good to drive now?"

Jay nodded, "I'll drive you home." He confirms.

"Can you drive me to Sean's?" she asked, pulling to the side.

Jay was silent for a minute, and Emma looked over at him for him to fling his door open and just storm to the other side, whipping the door open for her to get out.

Emma slowly got out, clearly he was still mad.

She went to the passanger side and he drove her in complete silence.

"Emma." Sean blinked as she stepped into his apartment.

She was alone, Jay had dropped her out front.

"Manny's not here, is she?" Emma asked as he shut the door behind her.

"No." Breathed Sean, running a hand through his hair and leaving it on the back of his neck, "Em.." he drifts quietly, looking nervous.

Emma took a step back from him when he stepped closer to her, "Sean..."

"Do you still... do you still have feelings for me Emma? I need to know." he asked demanded desperately.

Silence.

Emma bit her lower lip and sat down on his couch, "I think I always will care about you Sean." She confirmed looking up at him.

Sean went and sat next to her, "Like, romantic feelings o-or friend feelings?" he looked stressed out, "Cause I can't decide which is which.. but I'm going nuts thinking about you." he stared at her and into her eyes, "You always make me crazy Em." He joked with a slight smile.

Emma smiled sadly back and nodded, "I know.." she laughed softly.

"So what do we do about it?" Sean asked her.

Emma closed her eyes tiredly, "I had such a long day, I really don't know what to say right now. I just know.. I do..want.." she drifts off, looking at Sean.

Why was it hard to say?

Suck it up, Emma, this is what you NEED.

A year and a half in rehab, get your life on track! He's your ticket to do it! Sean still wants you, he looks at you like your perfect, and here he is, asking you what you want. He also may be the new boss of Tony's Auto shop.

"I want to be with you." Emma said with a nod and he nodded back and then grabbed a blanket from behind her.

"we'll sleep on it." He joked and slowly moved his hand out to her. Emma bit her lip again and felt him wrap his arm around her and they both leaned back on the couch.

She laid in his arms and laid her head on his chest.

Hmm.. didn't feel the same anymore. She tried to melt more into his arms and he held her tighter closing his eyes.

"Muffin and hot chocolate?" Spinner stood at the Dot's counter the next morning where Emma picked up her order.

"Thanks Spin." She said quietly.

"Going to Sean and Manny's dinner party tonight?" Spinner asked.

Emma swallowed hard and nodded with a tight smile, he nodded back and went to the next person for their order as Emma leaned on the counter, lost in thought as a figure leaned on it next to her.

"So is this the meal of shame? Did you get down and dirty last night?" came Jay's haunting voice.

Emma closed her eyes before turning and looked at him, "It's none of your business what we did."

She went and walked off, her heart began to hurt.

She didn't know what was going on anymore.

Jay stood there, almost shaking with how angry he was before he charged after her.

She'd almost made it out of the parking lot when someone grabbed her arm. She was whipped around and expected Jay.

No.

Kelly.

Her ex boyfriend.

"Kelly." Emma said out loud and gulped.

He smirked, "Em.. you look.." he whistled, "jesus you never stop to amaze me."

Emma looked away, piercing her lips together, seeing him made her think of the cocaine. How nice is was to not feel those hurtful feelings.

The feelings she felt now. Sadness, guilt, confusion, hurt-

"You still into..it?" he drifts, raising an eyebrow and smiled, "Cause I still sell and for you? I'd give a discount." He smiled.

Emma blinked twice and shook her head, "No, I'm done with that." She went to turn and he grabbed her once more and then stuck a card into her jacket.

He smiled, "Just incase." He winked before he left.

Emma suddenly wasn't hungry or anything anymore. As Jay came out he saw her throw her food and drink into the near by trash and storm home, crossing her arms as if hugging herself.

Jay squinted his eyes watching her practically race off home, he watched her until out of sight and then glanced at a guy who was talking to her, but now on his cellphone.

Who was that?


	7. Why Do You Do What You Do To Me

"Em, you look so cute! And this dinner looks great." Manny gushed over her pre wedding dinner.

One more week til the wedding! She was getting nervous and so excited!

Emma wore a black strapless tight little dress with her hair curled and pinned to one side.

The dinner party was really fancy, it was outdoor, it was getting dark, it was in a park, but a nice one, with street lights and candles, with flowers everywhere. A big lake was behind their long dinner table that could hold 30 people. Food was already set down for them. The small group of children from Manny's side of the family played on the set on swings or played basketball until they were called for dinner.

Mia even brought her daughter, Isabella, too.

"I have to confess something." Emma whispered to Manny, fidgeting with her hands.

Manny went serious, "What is it?" she asked.

Emma felt her heart sink and opened her mouth but shut it when Sean came over, eyeing her but wrapping an arm around Manny's waist who tilted her head at Emma curiously.

"Hey Em." Sean greets, his blue eyes searching into her brown ones for something.

Emma had no idea what.

Emma changed the confession, "It was mostly Mia and Darcy." She breathed and nervously laughed, "I know I'm maid of honor but I've just been..busy."

Manny giggled, thinking she meant having that 'affair' with Jay.

"Don't we know it. It's fine! As long as your part of it silly." Manny confirmed, pulling Emma into a hug.

Emma gave Sean a sad look, he looked away from her.

The three went over to the table. Manny was talking to Sean's parents as Emma sat beside Darcy and Mia.

Darcy pointed, "Oh look, the boys are here."

They glance over seeing Jay, Spinner and an invited Lucas walking down the park path with their dates. Each. One. Of. Them. Had. A. Fucking. Date, Emma noticed. Meaning Jay. Jay had a date.

"He came with Bianca?" Emma said outloud while narrowing her eyes, watching Jay walk over with her.

He even looked good. Wearing a V white tshirt and nice black pants and shoes. A little hint of a scruffy shaved beard peeked through and his hair was styled messy but a good messy. Emma looked away.

"I thought Lucas and Bianca were dating?" Manny asked, remembering hearing that from Bianca and looking at the scene as well.

Lucas walked with some random blonde girl and Spinner brought Paige Michealchuck. Manny had to roll her eyes, she'd never escape that princess.

"Went out once, no sparks." Sean declared for her.

"Good." Mia blurted out. Everyone stared at her. "I mean, I don't care." She lied and rolled her eyes to the blonde, "Emma he probably did it to make you jealous."

Emma closed her eyes in embarrassment, why did they have to think she and Jay were having an affair? And why'd they have to say it infront of Sean?

"Why would he want to make you jealous?" Sean blurted out a little too curious, Manny even gave him a strange look.

"Who wants some wine? Red or white?" Emma asked, changing the subject as the group came over and sat down.

Manny liked that Emma ignored Sean, she didn't know what was with him lately. Cold Feet? It was making her feel wierd, but he'd never leave her, he swore he loved her.

"White! Get me tipsy girl." Manny laughed with Emma.

Sean couldn't stop looking at Emma though, she looked away and avoided his eyes.

When Jay sat down he snuck glances between them and then put his attention on Bianca, listening to her annoying voice.

_**Why do you do what you do to me, yeah  
>Why won't you answer me, answer me, yeah<br>Why do you do what you do to me, yeah  
>Why won't you answer me, answer me, yeah<strong>_

Music played as they ate dinner and drank wine.

"Daddy!" Isabelle ran to Lucas happily.

Emma saw Mia gawking the way the two got happy seeing another.

"Hey baby girl." Lucas kissed her on the head let her sit on his lap, "Izzy this is Brandi." He introduced her to the girl he was with.

Down the table Mia scoffed, turning from him with his new slut.

Emma smirked a bit leaning closer to Mia, "If you want him, I'm sure he'd dive for you." she whispered to her.

"Been there, done that. Not sure if he can really help support Izzy." Mia admitted.

Emma shrugged with a nod, "Maybe he's still a little.. lazy and careless. But he loves her to death, look at that, she loves him like crazy."

Mia softened while looking over again and then nodded at Emma, she got up and went over to go sit with them. Emma watched Lucas totally ignore the girl he was with and conversed with Mia. She smiled softly.

Emma then noticed when Mia got up, it meant Jay was right next to her, just a foot away.

Emma bit the end of her tounge as he looked away from Bianca to her.

Manny was watching this and coughed, speaking up, "Do you guys mind moving down?" she asked Jay, Bianca and everyone beyond them, "So Izzy doesn't have to sit on Lucas' lap."

Even the date of Lucas gave a 'what the hell' look but moved on. Jay awkwardly shifted a bit closer to Emma who tried to avoid letting him touch her.

Her heart was speeding up. God what was that? Was she being nervous around Jay? I mean she hated being mad at but she knew that wasn't it, her and Jay got into screaming matches all the time..

_**I am in misery  
>There ain't nobody who can comfort me (Oh yeah)<br>Why won't you answer me  
>The silence is slowly killing me (Oh yeah)<br>**_

"Spike ! Snake!" Manny happily smiled, greeting them as they came over.

"Sorry we're late." Spike said, leaning down and hugging her and then putting a hand on Sean's shoulder, "Almost wedding day huh guys?"

"not getting cold feet are yeah guys?" joked Snake to them.

Jay snickered as he saw Sean sneak a nervous glance at Emma, "No way Mr.S" Jay said loudly while opening a beer.

No he wasn't drunk, he was just having a beer. He wasn't even that drunk the other night, he just really needed to say what he said.

"They're inlove!" he exclaimed.

Manny gave Jay a wierd look but smiled, nodding. She clearly didn't get his sarcasm like Emma did.

"Hi honey." Spike said, leaning down and kissing Emma's head before her and Snake sat down on the end of the table.

Emma narrowed her eyes at Jay, he didn't look at her but before he took a casual sip of beer he was clearly speaking to her, "You were shocked just how in love they are too right Em?"

"Baby!" Manny exclaimed when Sean choked a bit on his bun and just tossed it on his plate, pushing it away and glared down at it.

"Yeah, Jay." Emma said through clenched teeth, she couldn't help it, she wrapped her hand around Jay's and squeezed it tight, giving him a 'shut the hell up' look or i'll hurt you.

Jay held her hand tighter and Emma cringed letting his go but he kept hers in his grip, it didn't hurt bad, he was just showing her grip wasn't hurting at all nor going to shut him up.

Manny looked over and then raised an eyebrow impressed, the two were holding hands.

Bianca looked over and threw her napkin down, "So sick of you two!" she yelled at Jay and Emma. They jumped a bit and let go. Bianca threw her chair back and stormed off, Jay just glanced effortlessly where she once sat and just shrugged looking back to Manny and Sean.

Emma gave a look, "What the hell was that?"

"Don't know, don't care." Jay simply said and went back to Sean, "So did you always have feelings for Manny, Sean? Just curious. Like, for example, when dating Emma here, were you always curious about Manny secretily?"

Sean clenched his fits. But Emma stopped being so tense.. that was a good question. Wow. She never thought that. Did he? She looked at Sean curiously.

"I.." Sean drifted off and then got really hot and nervous. Emma tried too hide her pissed off look. He did! Didn't he?

"Come on guys, lets not bring up past things we don't care about anymore. We're adults" Manny said with a sweet smile.

Jay just shrugged, Emma was looking down, letting this all sink in beside him. Sean was staring at the two and eyeing Jay jealously. Did Jay have a **thing** for Emma? **His** Emma?

Sean nodded, "Yeah." He looked at Jay tauntingly, "Or would you like to talk about all the girls you use to treat like shit?" he shook his head, "Nevermind, you still do that."

"A guy can change." Taunts Jay, knowing jealousy of Emma and him was running through Sean's mind. Jay smirked tauntingly at him, good, he wanted him to think their was something between them. One, maybe he'd back the fuck off Emma and two, he'd admit what he was doing to Manny was wrong.

"I don't know, your history is _pretty bad_.." Sean told Jay

Jay snickered, "Gee your real stuck in the past huh Seanny? Am I right Em, is he stuck in the past?" Emma opened her mouth, Jay cut her off, "I bet Sean still thinks he's Degrassi's hot shot or something, the big basketball star."

"I'd run circles around you." muttered Sean.

"Alright! Let's play some ball then." Jay said, standing up.

Everyone was watching the crazy scene, funny looks on everyones faces.

"0oo0, can I play?" Manny asked, clearly not seeing the competition Jay and Sean were fighting over right now, Emma was trying to hang her head low.

"Yeah, lets go." Jay said, hitting Emma's shoulder, "Em will be on my team again."

Manny squeeled happily getting up, Emma wasn't go but Manny came over and dragged her to the basketball court.

Just them now.

"Let's make it fun." Jay said as Sean rolled up his own sleeves.

Emma stood in the middle with Manny wearing dresses, Manny was examining her nails.

She then called out "Oh yes! I like fun, don't really know how to play anyways. Lets make our own rules."

Emma watched Jay as Manny rambled. What was going on with him? Why was he doing this to her? She needed him on her side right now.

He looked like he was thinking about rules, "Alright, each point, someone on the other team has to tell a secret." He connected eyes with Emma.

"Why? That's stupid." Sean spoke up.

"Very stupid." Emma agreed, eyes still connected with Jay who just smirked.

"I think it's fun! Lets do it." Manny confirmed.

Jay passed Sean the basketball on the side of the court a bit rougly into his stomach, "Here, have the ball. You're so good at it right?"

"Shit.." muffled Sean trying to hide how much it hurt and then bounced it.

They stared and Sean tried to shoot from where he was standing, missed the net.

"Shitty shot." Taunted Jay behind him, Manny ran after the ball and then passed it to Emma.

Emma let it just roll by her, she wanted nothing to do with this, Jay happily got it and shot it at the net though.

It scored in. Sean gritted his teeth.

Jay grinned, "Got it. Slutos how about you tell us something." He confirms, pointing at her.

"I hate when you call me slutos and want to punch you in the face?" Manny says.

Emma had the turn to grin and laughed a bit, "I agree."

"No Sluto's, something more real, more dark." Jay said, giving the brunette a daring look, not even caring he just called her Sluto's again.

"Juicey gossip huh? Ok." Nodded Manny to think about it and then took a deep breath, "I actually have always been jealous of Em."

Emma have her an insane look. What? REALLY? Why..

"That's funny." Muttered Jay, throwing Sean the ball a little roughly again. Sean glared then aimed really hard at the net, he couldn't afford to tell a certain secret.

He scored.

Thank god.

"Emma?" Jay turns, seeing if she wanted to take this one. Emma stared at Jay, not understanding what he was doing, "No?" he guessed she didn't want to tell a secret, she glared and he just shrugged, "Ok me. Ummm.. when Greenpeace here started getting into drugs, I blamed myself." He confessed.

Sean looked at Emma, Manny gave a pout, that was actually really sad..and cute.

Emma looked at Jay who didn't look at her as he confessed this. She softened a little.

Jay got the ball from Sean and bounced it as he admitted, "Hell, I was the one who introduced her to the ravine."

"WHAT!" Sean exclaimed.

"Jay.." Emma warned, NOT the thing to SAY right now. Even though it was sweet, but he did NOT get her into ANY drugs, she got it herself, if she didn't know the drugs were at ravine, she still would of met Kelly and got the coke from him.

"You went to the ravine with him?" Sean yelled at Emma.

"That's a secret Cam. Not our turn anymore." Jay said with a sarcastic smile, throwing the ball to Manny.

Manny mumbled, "This is getting intense." She shot up to the net and actually scored, Sean closed his eyes. He didn't really want to hear more of their secrets.

Jay turned to Emma, "Alright. Em, you gotta go this time. Don't hold back now."

"You're such an asshole." Emma said, trying to fight tears.

"That's not a secret Em!" called Manny about Jay with a giggle. Clearly she couldn't see Emma on the bridge to crying.

Jay raised a challenged look at Emma. Emma looked away from him, no way in hell she could say a thing about her and Sean.

What other secrets did she have?

Emma swallowed hard.

"Em, tell us about your affair!" Manny shouted by the net, still thinking Jay and Emma were having a secret relationship.

"Manny." Emma hissed.

"Affair huh?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow, but a little confused.

"oh don't be so coy Jayson." Manny said sing songly.

"What?" Jay asked, clueless. Emma ran a hand down her face.

"I heard your guy's conversation on the phone. Who calls at 3 am? And texts like NO tomorrow." She points at Emma, "She won't even show the lovey dovey texts to me."

Sean looked away guilty.

"I don't know Manny, who would?" Jay asked, slowly seeing Manny thought he and Emma had something.

No. They didn't. Emma was too dumb and wrapped up in Sean to notice him.

"You two are totally secretly dating!" Manny said pointing at Jay and Emma, laughing.

Jay threw the ball away, done with this game, done with it all, done with everything, done with trying to make Emma Nelson SEE.

"That's interesting." He snickered and began stalking off the court.

Sean suddenly blocked him though and sneered into his face madly, "Have to go ruin everything of mine huh Jay?"

_SMACK!_

Manny gasped and Emma covered her mouth with her hand, tears building up into her eyes.

Jay had actually knocked Sean to the ground with a single punch, and still stormed off. Sean tried to crawl up as Manny ran to him and tried to help him up, his nose bleeding.

Emma looked worriedly in Jay's direction and felt like she was really going to be sick this time.

This was getting to be too much.


	8. We Should Of Been Forever

_**We could have everything but all we got is heart ache and pain  
>I can't catch my breath, it's getting harder to speak<br>You should be proud of me, but you're too insecure and too vain  
>We should have been forever, I wanted you forever<br>Now I can't breathe, If I'm not breathin' with you  
>I can't sleep, If all I'm dreamin' is you<br>Can't you see, I've got no air without you  
>I can't breathe, I can't breathe<br>Ooohhh...  
>Yeah!<strong>_

2 more days til the wedding, and everyone was getting anxious.

There was no word from Jay, and Manny was trying to make Sean call him but he wouldn't. Now he had only Spinner for a best man, so asked Toby to step in.

But Manny knew Jay, even though a bit of an asshole, was Sean's best friend. He should be at their wedding!

Not even Emma had seen him.

"Emma?" Spike entered her daughters room.

Emma was too much in thought to even hear her and stared out her window, bitting her nails. She did that whenever something felt wrong.

And where the hell has Jay been?

"Emma, you okay?" Spike went behind and Emma jumped when she put a hand on her back then gave a fake smile.

"yeah." She lied.

Spike frowned but nodded and laid a tea down for her, then left.

Emma felt her phone go off and lunged for it. Jay?

Sean.

Emma frowned and threw it down on the bed and crossed her arms, passing her room now.

She needed air.

She'd go for a walk.

And what a walk it was. Emma found it already being 9 o clock, it was pitch dark outside, and she'd been walking, lost in thought, for almost 2 and a half hours.

"Emma." She heard and looked up. Outside the Dot, what just closed, stood Kelly.

Emma sucked in a shakey breath and looked around. Nowhere to go, no stores open, no people even standing around.

Well, it's not like he'd hurt her. He was a good guy other than being a druggie. Just.. the temptation wasn't a good feeling, specially with how she felt right now.

"H-hey." She greets.

"How are you?" he smiled, "Haven't called me."

"Don't need anything." She said rather quickly and he eyed her and shifted his feet.

"Yea..yeah heard you were sober for a year or something." He said.

Emma nodded and then tried to walk around him to leave.

"But I can tell you want it." He called out.

Emma stopped and hugged her arms around herself as she turned and looked at him almost desperately until shaking her head, "No." She turned halfway.

"I'll give you a free sample!" He called.

Emma's heart fell, the craving scratched through her. Her shoulders fell helpessly as she turned back to him.

She seemed to notice a lot of things Jay said had been bothering her lately as his words came to her mind again, _"I __**wasn't**__ the one that left __you__ in the dust." He sneered_

Kelly reached into his pocket and showed off that little cocain bottle. Emma tilted her head trying to keep from crying as she walked back to Kelly slowly.

Both their heads turned when they heard a car door shut, and a figure walked over to them through the shadows.

"Whose that?" Kelly asked Emma who sucked in a breath.

"Jay." She whispered, not answering Kelly really, just relieved to see him.

Jay kept his eyes on Emma as he walked over, Kelly eyed him up and down, "What's going on?" Jay asked, now narrowing his eyes at Kelly, standing infront of Emma almost protectively.

Kelly snickered but was a bit intimidated, "Old friends catching up," he went to hide the coke bottle, "Who the hell are you?"

Emma's eyes widened when Jay grabbed Kelly's wrist so hard the guy cursed out loudly, Jay grabbed the little bottle and threw Kelly back and the guy fell over his feet on to his ass.

Emma sucked in a deep shakey breath when she watched Jay lift the bottle up, examining it, saw what it was and then threw it on the ground, crushing the bottle and smashing it into pieces with the coke.

"DUDE!" yelled Kelly madly.

Jay walked over and Kelly's eyes widened in horror seeing how pissed off this guy looked. Emma didn't mention a boyfriend.. a crazy dangerous one at that! Kelly tried to crawl back but Jay put his foot down hard onto Kelly's ankle.

Kelly cried out again.

Jay leaned down over Kelly and looked around, "Ok so.." he drifts and looks down at Kelly sincerely, "your going to leave this city. If she by chance moves to the next city you decide to flee too, you leave that city too. I don't want you **ever** near her again, or I'll smash more of your bottles, rat you to the cops, let alone tell my old dealer buddies about you, they won't be so happy they have a new guy to kill for trying to steal their business.. ANDD, I'll probably beat the living shit out of you." he confirms.

Kelly looked at Emma, scared out of his mind, but nodded quickly up at Jay who nodded and got up.

"Let's go." He told Emma firmly.

She began walking to his car with him as Kelly crawled up.

Jay clenched his jaw and sighed, "wait." He told Emma and turned, walking back to Kelly and swung his fist across his face.

Kelly fell back down onto his face and groaned.

Jay shook his fist and walked back to Emma, "Alright let's go." He said.

The two walked into Jay's apartment, she walked behind him eyeing him suspiciously and a bit impressively.

She finally spoke, "Aren't you feeling violent this week? First Sean, now Kelly, you could of broke Sean's nose for the wedding too." She joked.

He snickered as he sat on his couch, "Why do you care? Who knows if there'll even be one." He sized her up and down hinting she might destroy that wedding from happening.

Emma rolled her pretty eyes at him before standing before him, looking down at him as she crossed her arms.

"Why do you do the things you do?" she asked, really wondering. He was unlike anyone she's ever met. Mostly people said that to her but he was one in a million.

"Because I'm Jay Hogart, you above everyone know that." He said, smirking up to her.

"Don't I know it." Mumbled Emma playfully looking around his apartment, clean, boyish with it's many electronics and booze, a bit of a cigarette smell.

"You kiss him yet?" Jay asked out of nowhere and she darted her eyes back to his

"No." Emma admitted and softly said, "And I don't want to talk about it with you."

"Why?" Jay asked, curious. He stood up, Emma noticed him now right infront of her, awfully close it was hard to breath.

Why was it hard to breath?

"Cause it's private!" Emma began to freak out.

Jay shrugged with another famous smirk, "We're adults, we've all kissed before." He confirms, raising an eyebrow at her while lowering his head down to her.

Emma went to slowly nod and opened her mouth to agree until she saw Jay lean down more. Emma shut her eyes tight as he pressed his lips against hers, shutting her up but her mouth still half open, perfect for him to slip and tease her tounge with his, on reflex, she teased back. She sighed and he kissed a bit deeper.

Fireworks.

Emma pulled away with a mad face, "hey!"

He-he can't DO THAT!

"What? Just showing you it's not a big deal." Jay said with an obvious smirk still slapped across his face.

"yes it is!"

"Was that just a big deal?" Jay challenged her, raising an eyebrow, daring her to admit it could of been.

Yes.

"N-no, it's..**you**." she tried declaring him as being nothing to her, but her stuttering was rather obvious and cute.

"Exactly." Jay said, calling her bluff. They were _something_ to another, "Just..." he drifts off, leaning down again "..a" he lifted her chin and pressed his lips against hers again, "Kiss." He mumered against her mouth and kissed her once more very passionately with his hands cupping her face.

Emma moaned helplessly into the kiss. He was such a good kisser.. the best.

Her heart starting beating really fast, like the night at the ravine when they first-

"No. Stop." Emma tore away quickly and put her hands on his chest.

He breathed hard and opened his eyes after a moment, Emma shook her head.

She hid these feelings a **long** time ago, knowing he wouldn't be able to give them back, and it hurt, but she didn't want to admit just how much it hurt.

"I got to go help Manny. Told her I'd be with her tonight." She said, looking away from him.

"Alright." Jay confirms after looking away from her for a moment but then back at her, nodding.

She nodded slowly and in a bit of shock, turned toward the door. When she reached it she finally blinked and opened the door for Jay to come walking behind her quickly, and bashed it shut, turning her against it.

Emma moaned when he pressed her up against the door and kissed her **again**.

Her hands rested against his tight jawline and he lifted her up, wrapping her legs up around his waist. She nipped his bottom lip and he growled, kissing her harder.

Jay always made her feel bad, in the good sense, a naughty sort of bad, it turned her on a bit. A dark secret she kept in since she laid eyes on him.

He knew every way to tease her, touch her, kiss her-

"Wait." Emma said, pulling away, both breathless. She was shutting her eyes tight, too afraid to open them, he grinned slightly, "Down, down." She squinting her eyes a bit open as she motioned to the ground, she could feel herself blushing like mad.

Her big pretty brown chocolate melting eyes gazed down at his until she was staring up at him when he slowly and gently put her back down. She kept her hands on his shoulders as she reached the ground and they kept their eyes on another.

He looked down, grinning as he laughed softly and she embarrassingly tried to cover her blush.

His phone then rang.

Emma licked her lip and bit it nervously as he looked at it, back at her, and slowly walked over to it.

Speakerphone he pressed.

"Yeah?" he answered.

Emma was still biting her lip but a smile crept out, watching him. So that's why her heart was doing funny things.. it seemed familiar.

"Jay, you ditched another one of our dates again!" came Biana's yell.

Emma stopped smiling and looked down. Yeah. This was **very** familiar actually. Emma, you stupid girl, we did this once and he's still the same, he is not satisfied with one girl. He will never feel as strongly as you do about him. Move on before you get hurt because out of everyone, he could hurt you the most.

"Bianca, I'm **busy**." Jay said, gritting his teeth. She was getting awfully annoying! She wouldn't get off his damn back. Could she not see he wasn't interested?

"Ja-"

Jay pressed END and sighed before turning back to-

Nothing was there, Emma left. His apartment was empty.

"Em?" he called.

He jogged to the door and flew it open, looking down the apartment hall, "Emma?"

Nothing.

Jay tried to ignore the pain curl up inside him, the confusion and hurt. Why'd she go? Did she think he really had a date with Bianca? She was crazy.

Jay bit the end of his tounge, clenching his fists tightly, careful not to snap and hit something. He closed his door after him and tried to calm down.

But you almost finally got her.

Jay's hand slammed into the wall, creating a hole in the wall.  
><em><strong><br>We should have been forever, I wanted you forever  
>Now I can't breathe, If I'm not breathin' with you<br>I can't sleep, If all I'm dreamin' is you  
>Can't you see, I've got no air without you<br>I can't breathe, I can't breathe**_!

Emma ran home through the rain as fast as she could.

Rain poured down her, if she were in front of a mirror, she couldn't tell you which ones on her face were tear drops or rain drops.

Emma was out of breath as she turned a corner and leaned on a building.

She had no idea what the hell she was doing or where she was going, and it scared the crap out of her, but she never felt so alive now.

"Em?" came a shout as an engine roared up near her, "Emma?"

Emma looked over to a red car, Sean.

Emma tried to catch her breath.

The two entered Sean's apartment, Sean ran in first and got Emma a blanket, wrapping it around her.

"What the hell were doing out there?" he asked.

Emma sat on his couch and shrugged, "I don't know.. felt good though." I mean, she was crying, but that was over Jay, and ofcourse it hurt but it also felt so great to feel something so powerful like that.

Sean snickered sitting down next to her.

It then got silent, and awkward. Emma snuck a glance at him, he looked like he had something on his mind, she also checked out Jay's masterpiece around his nose.

"Hopefully that'll heal by the wedding." She told him.

Sean looked at her and then grumbled something about Jay being an asshole. She couldn't help but smile. He then turned to her, "Did you like..date him?"

Emma shook her head and sighed, "No.. I didn't let it get there."

"Cause you knew he was wrong for you?" guessed Sean, nodding.

Emma shook her head no though.

"He woulda been perfect." She admitted out loud, then stared off, "But I didn't trust him." But when Emma said it out loud she gave a hard look, "No." She said firmly shaking her head again, "I didn't trust **myself** with him." She admitted.

Sean was so confused.

Emma looked at him. She was finally not confused anymore. Finally! At last!

"You hurt me **so** bad." Emma told Sean. Sean saddened and Emma snickered, "I **hated** you for what you did to me, and I just thought Jay would hurt me too and I liked him so much, that I wouldn't even give it a try because it would of killed me. He could of been perfect.." Emma drifts off and thinks about it and rolled her eyes, "And I just ran from him **again!**." She slapped herself mentally.

"Emma!" Sean yelled, snapping her out of it and he grabbed her face.

Emma felt his breath on her lips, he moved her hair softly behind her ear as he whispered, "I promise to never hurt you again."

He looked like he wanted to kiss her, he was going to kiss her.

A flash went through Emma's head, and a memory came through of her and Manny dancing to 'Ice, Ice baby' when they were little, and then a flash to when they did it the other week, all grown up, **still** best friends, through thick and thin.

Sean now lifted her chin and leaned down.

Emma's mind pictured Jay. Just Jay. Just.. smiling at her with that chesire grin.

"stop!" Emma cried out right before Sean's lips touched hers and then backed up, opening his eyes with questions written all over his face.

"W-what? What's wrong?" Sean asked as she dodged out of her seat.

"I can't do this." Emma said, standing up.

"If it's about Manny, I-I don't know I'm still confused, but I know I still love you Em." He breathed helplessly.

Emma gave Sean such a sad, sad look. What had she done to him?

"Love me yes," she said then shook her head, "But you're not in love with me Sean, come on! We're being so..stupid." Emma gazed off, no, this was her plan from the beginning, this was her fault trying to get Sean back, it was near his wedding, he was getting cold feet, and she was making him think he still loved her, she spoke again, "No, it's me. I'm being stupid. I should of never-"

"No, he was trying to kiss** you** Em." A voice came in and Emma gasped, turning.

Sean's face fell when he saw Manny standing in the door way, looking at the scene with water pouring down her eyes.

She looked devastated, heart broken, and glared madly and painfully into his eyes, "This is only Sean's fault. If he loved me, he would of backed off."

Emma could tell Sean looked very guilty right now, but he wasn't, this was all her-

"Manny I-"

Manny put up her hand, silencing Emma, "I can't.." she shook her head, tears pouring more and more down her cheeks, "..Look at you right now, just give me a few days. I know this isn't your fault, but YOU." she looked at Sean with hatred, "Don't you **ever** talk to me again." She flung her ring off and threw it at his direction. "I **knew** you were watching her." Manny cried like a helpless little gir, clenching her chest like her heart hurt, and it was, oh so much, "But I tried to push past it because you pushed past Craig because you trusted me, and I thought I could trust **you**."

Sean looked like he was in pure shock, he tried to catch the ring but his eyes were darting around the room, confused and hurt. He looked helplessly at Manny, "I do trust you, I love you so much Manny!" he started crying and put his head into his hands, looking up, he had tears building into his eyes, "I don't know why-"

"Weddings off." Manny sneered, not even listening to him and ran out the door.

Emma stood there, still in shock herself and looked at Sean. She'd never seen him cry, not even over her. Oh my god, what had she done! Sean was hopelessly in love, head over heels with Manny. The two were a forever type of couple.

Emma ran her fingers through her hair, clenching her teeth and gripping the hair on the back of her head as she freaked out and sucked in a shakey breath, "Sean." She said while shaking her head, not knowing how to explain or say sorry.

Her heart broke for them.

He just kept hanging his head down, staring helplessly at Manny's ring he gave to her.

Emma let tears spill down her face and walked out slowly.

_**And the tears froze, on my face  
>Cause you said, we were over<br>You were so cold  
>We should have been forever<br>Now I can't breathe  
>If I'm not breathin' with you<br>I can't sleep  
>If all I'm dreamin' is you<br>Can't you see  
>I've got no air without you<br>Now, I can't breathe, I can't breathe**_


	9. You Played It To The Beat

**One more just for you Allison! Hahah. Being the only reviewer at first, I guess I owe you!**

The wedding was tomorrow, but it hadn't been called off. Mostly because Manny was missing and Sean wouldn't speak or come out of his apartment.

Emma saw Jay phoned her a few times, she didn't have the courage to pick up, to tell him what she done and how terrible of a person she was.

She was trying to find Manny but had no idea where she would go.

Emma sat on her porch, thinking hard. If she could just find Manny, explain, call Sean and tell him it was ok and we'd meet him at the church- then it would be fine again.

Emma then gasped. She knew where Manny was, where she would go if she was feeling down. The place she loved with all her heart.

New York, New York.

Manny still had that wanna-be actress in her.

But.. Emma would need some support incase Manny tried to kill her when she confessed her evil plans. Who did she know in New York?

"Emma Nelson." Craig opened his hotel door to the blonde.

Emma stood with bags in her arms and sighed, "I really need your help."

He looked at her for a moment, and for a second she thought he was going to slam the door on her face, she wasn't so kind when he found out about her coke habit.

But forgiveness and understanding filled his eyes as he opened the door wider for her to enter.

_**There's a fire starting in my heart  
>Reaching a fever pitch, it's bringing me out the dark<br>Meanwhile back in Toronto.**_

Spike opened the door to Jay who ran a hand through his hair nervously, "Hey Mrs.S.. Emma home?"

Spike eyed him weirdly, he was asking for Emma.

"Emma?" she had to repeat it, a bit in shock, he nodded. She opened the door for him, "nooo..." she drifts oddly, "Why?"

Jay came inside and then noticed a note on the front doors bench. He picked it up and read it:

_This might be a shocker, but I'm going to New York. I'll call you when I can.._

_-Emma._

Jay's mouth fell.

She-she left?

His heart felt sore, kinda like it was breaking into peices. Like the night he dropped off Emma at Sean's, thinking she had slept with him or something when he saw her the next day at the Dot.

"Jay you don't have a thing for my _daughter_ do you?" Spike asked, turning around to look at her plants near the front door.

Jay shoved the note into his pocket, heading out the front door again, "Uh yea I'm kinda in love with her." He simply noted, running out.

Spike whipped around, mouth dropped in shock and noticed him gone. She looked out the front door just in time seeing Jay's civic race down the street.

Well.

He was in a hurry.

_**Finally I can see you crystal clear  
>Go 'head and sell me out and I'll lay your <strong>__**shit**__** bare  
>See how I leave with every piece of you<br>Don't underestimate the things that I will do**_

BACK IN NEW YORK.

"That was an insane story." Craig blinked, sitting on the hotel bed with his feet on the ground next to Emma.

Emma sighed and nodded, "Yeah." She looked down, "I'm an awful person, I don't even know who I am anymore.." she whispered.

Craig sadly looked at her, "Em.." she looked at him and he softly explained, "I lost Manny when I went on coke... I lied to her, and I forced her do even do it once..Normal me, would of NEVER done that." He sternly said, "and I began hurting everyone. I played with Ellie's feelings, just so she couldn't see what I was really doing."

"Craig, I did this after my struggle with the drugs." Emma cried, tears spilling. There was no excuse for her.

Craig shook his head, "No. You're a great person Emma. After I left rehab, I couldn't get over what I had done either, and I forgot who I was. You forgot who you were is all Emma, I think seeing Sean again just made you think having him would bring back _you_." he frowned deeply, "But it didn't, did it?"

Emma shook her head no.

He asked slowly, "But your realizing it all now, your coming back to us little Nelson." He teased and she smiled through the tears, "So someone must of helped bring you back."

_**There's a fire starting in my heart  
>Reaching a fever pitch<br>And it's bringing me out the dark**_

Emma stood up and nodded with a bit of a smile, "Jay." She admitted as she grabbed her purse.

Craig shook his head. Wait, what! "Jay Hogart?" he exclaimed.

"Yeah I know." Emma said with a slight laugh, "insane. But he knows me, like I know him. It's why we fight like cats and dogs but still stick together."

"That actually makes sense.." drifts Craig, thinking about it then clapped his hands together, "So we better find Manny."

Emma nodded, "We'll stop in my hotel room, get my list..I wrote a list on where I think she'd go.." she drifts with a shrug and he then nodded.

They ran out.

Meanwhile, a heart throbbing bad boy sat in a plane in a seat with his mind set on Emma and getting her back.

_**The scars of your love remind me of us  
>They keep me thinking that we almost had it all<br>The scars of your love, they leave me breathless**_

Emma and Craig ran through the very busy streets of New York. Tall buildings. People everywhere. Signs glowing, a big TV over their heads for the city to watch.

"Emma this place is huge! We're never going to find her." Craig yelled at her as they stopped in the middle of the busiest street in NY.

"We will." Emma insisted desperately looking around.

"We've called every hotel in New York." Craig said, ready to give up and gave her a sad sorry look.

Emma then smiled, pointing to a sign, "Look! Manny's favorite play, she'll be in there, I know it!" Emma had a strong gut feeling and ran toward the building.

LITTLE WOMAN.

Not the most famous play, but Manny was like that, always loving things that were hardly really recognized. One of the things Emma loved about her. The play had just ended and everyone was coming out.

"Oh my god." Craig said, pushing through the crowd with Emma as they saw the one and only brunette getting up from a seat in a huge crowd.

Manny!

"There she is!" Emma pointed but some people squished them together and back out near the door. Emma huffed and tried looking for Manny as everyone exited.

It soon cleared out, and Emma couldn't find her again.

"Did you see where she went?" she asked Craig hopefully.

He frowned, shaking his head,"No.." he winced. Shit.

_**I can't help feeling  
>We could have had it all<br>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)  
>Rolling in the deep<br>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)  
>You had my heart inside of your hand<br>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)  
>And you played it, to the beat<br>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)**_

Emma and Craig dragged themselves back into their hotel, giving up. This was useless. And Manny wasn't answering her calls or texts.

Emma sucked in a breath, she looked..ruined.

"I destroyed my best friends life." She said sadly, tears starting to rise up again.

"Emma?" she heard and turned.

"MANNY!" she ran to her and threw her arms around her.

Manny looked still heart broken but she hugged Emma back a bit too. She came all the way to New York? Just for her? She's lucky she picked the same hotel as her because she left her phone at home.

They tore apart and Manny sadly smied, "Kinda glad your here.." she said.

Emma softened, Manny looked so tired, worn out. Probably crying for days.

"I shouldn't of ran from you," Manny told Emma, "You didn't go kiss him back and you told him no. I'm going to need my best friend more than ever now." She sniffed

Emma shut her eyes, "Manny, stop."

Manny gave an odd look, and Emma sucked in a deep breath.

"Manny from the beginning I was mad you got together with Sean." Emma confessed, with a bitter snicker, at herself though, because she was stupid.

Manny's mouth fell, "Emma you said-"

"I lied!" Emma cried out, tears falling, "I loved him so much, and it's like you forgot the times you picked me up off from the floor because of him and what he did to me." Her vision blurred, "He broke my heart, Manny."

Manny's eyes started to water, "Emma I thought you moved on, you really seemed-"

Emma cut her off, nodding, "I did move on. But it was still fresh wounds.. specially out from rehab, I had no idea who I was and when I saw Sean, it seemed so familiar, when I was with him years ago, I was Emma Nelson, the girl who knew exactly what I wanted and who I was going to be. But I'm clueless now!" she tried whipping the tears away from her eyes, "And I thought he was going to help bring me back but he didn't!"

"Wait.. so you what? Did you go after him?" Manny asked, not believing this.

Emma nodded and tried to breath, "Manny! I'm SO sorry." She cried harder, "It was **me**, I confused **him**. Guys get cold feet, I made it worse, I made him think if he ran he could run back to me, that's the only thing me and Sean shared though I swear, we were both afraid of change but it's for the better! It really is! He loves you **so **much and I-I couldn't live with myself if you didn't go back to him and marry the guy your so in love with too."

Craig dug his hands into his pockets, watching the heartbreaking scene.

Manny's mouth hung open, and Emma sucked in a shakey breath. Manny then looked livid, and Emma was suddenly punched.

_**We could have had it all  
>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)<br>Rolling in the deep  
>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br>You had my heart inside of your hand  
>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)<strong>_

Emma cried out and her cheek stung. Manny held her hands in a small but tight and actually painful causing fists.

People in the hotel watched the scene.

"How could you do that to me!" Manny yelled, "I was your **best friend!**" she cried with tears spilling from her own eyes, "I don't even know who you are anymore!"

Emma accepted that and put her hand on her throbbing cheek.

"And **I **was jealous of **you?**" spat Manny with a snicker, shaking her head "You're a sad, pathetic girl Emma Nelson"

Emma nodded looking down.

Manny told her, "No one could ever love something like **you**." her body shook because she was so mad.

Emma painfully looked away from her.

Craig tried to bite his tounge but spoke up, "Manny, she's trying to set things right, you can't imagine what she had gone through."

Manny whipped around to him and pointed at Emma, "Your sticking up for HER?" she shouted and glared at Emma, "What are you? Sleeping with my ex too?"

"Manny." Emma said, shaking her head no. Never. Nothing even happened with Sean, just confusing words and awkward situations. Manny took a step forward like she was going to punch her again.

"MANNY!" Craig yelled, grabbing her.

Manny looked madly over her shoulder at him, "I will deck your face in if you went after her too!"

Emma finally yelled back at her, "Manny this is what I felt! I felt like Sean belonged to me, just like your feeling now with Craig," she said.

Manny stopped struggling in Craig's arms.

Emma went on, "yet you don't feel _that_ _way _about him." Emma tried to explain, "The year I came home, on coke, out of mind, I **needed** you and you **weren't** there for me. You were there with one of my many problems why I started drugs in the first place. Sean's just a number on my list of people who hurt me and made me feel I wasn't worth a **damn**." Emma said the word with clenched teeth, mad at those people for making her feel that way.

Hmm. Now she knew the reason why she did those drugs...

But..She was Emma Nelson, she WAS a good person. She'd prove it again.

Emma went back to speaking, "And when I came home again, just wanting you and my family after more than a year away from you, **again** you were there, with **him**."

Manny fell silent and still, she blinked and stared at Emma.

Emma shook her head, giving up, Manny didn't have to accept her apology so she went to turn, she still felt bad what she did to Manny.

But then she stopped and turned back, she needed to tell her how she felt or she'd never get better, she'd keep having that stupid craving for the bad things.

"I **needed **my **best friend**!" Emma yelled at Manny who looked away from her, guilty.

Manny should of known she shouldn't of shoved this wedding and her relationship onto Emma so fast like that when she came home from the hospital. It was just another reason to down fall..

She really did hurt Emma too, didn't she?

_**But you played it  
>You played it<br>You played it  
>You played it to the beat.<strong>_

Emma ran a hand through her hair and whiped the last tear from her eye but cringed, feeling the swelling on her cheek beginning to awake.

Manny and Craig watched Emma turn and start to walk away. Time to just leave now. She said sorry, told the truth, tried to set things right, and finally understood why all this happened.

Emma was 10 feet away now and sucked in a deep breath while pressing the elevator button.

The doors dinged and then opened. She avoided looking back at them in the entrance so she stared down after pressing her floor level.

From down the hall, Manny tapped her hand quickly on her thigh and then broke down running as fast as she could down the hall.

"EMMA!" she called out to her desperately.

Emma looked up as the elevators began closing. She grabbed one side of the doors as Manny grabbed the other and it opened back up.

Manny ran in and swung her arms around Emma.

Emma hugged Manny back just as tightly. Make up running everywhere from their tears.

Manny shut her eyes tight and held her friend as hard as she could.

"I love you, you dummy." Manny cried, not letting go.

Emma choked on her tears and opened her eyes, she looked up as if thanking God for letting Manny be the most amazing girl ever.

She pulled away and Emma laughed sadly when Manny tried whipping her tears.

"Hell, everybody knows I'm not innocent in the cheating world." Manny grumbled and Emma closed her eyes, smiling, but still sad.

Emma replied, "I don't even know who I am anymore."

"You're my best friend." Manny told Emma seriously and sternly said, "You're the type of girl who would fly all the way around the world just to help. You're the type of girl who would never lie-"

"But I did and I-"

"Craig was right, you weren't yourself but I can see you again now. You started coming through when I forced you into dancing to Vanilla Ice again." Manny joked and they sadly laughed together, sniffing their tears away, "You lost your way and your back Em. Just don't ever leave me again, okay?"

Emma broke down again but nodded, sharing another hug.

"So Sean, you really think he's just confused and he loves me?" Manny whispered.

"Hopelessly." Emma confirmed.

Manny nodded, smiling a bit and said, "I better get home then."


	10. You Had Me At Greenpeace

It was late, Emma was still in New York in her dim lighted hotel room. She helped Manny as fast she could to pack and ran her to the airport.

She left Sean a message, telling him everything and how sorry she was and how the two were just afraid of change, but she knew he loved Manny and he better **really** make it up to her and keep her happy. And said to have a beautiful wedding tomorrow.

Manny thought Emma was going to get the next flight, but she wasn't. Emma wasn't going to go to the wedding, she didn't think it was right.

Manny would understand.

So here she was, icing her little bruised cheek. A least it wasn't too ugly or big at all, just had a little shade of blue and stung if she touched it.

She looked out her window to the city of New York. Being away would help for a few days.

She changed into a black tank top with her yellow soccer boy shorts. She swung her hair into a messy bun as her door knocked.

Room service! Time to eat away the pain.

Emma skipped to the door and swung it open, FOOOODD- Jay?

Jay stood there, nothing but himself leaning on her door frame, holding the note she wrote her parents about it may being a shock, but she left for New York.

"You know Emma." He said her name so huskily her knees felt weak, "It was a bit of a shocker." He admitted playfully and looked over at her.

Emma shut her eyes halfway, biting her lower lip, it wasn't what it looked like!

"Were you just running from all your problems?" he asked, and pointing at himself a bit hurt, "From me?"

"No!" Emma exclaimed, shaking her head no back and forth and sighed, letting him in, he wouldn't step in though and Emma scoffed, "You flew all the way from Toronto but you're going to stand out there and make me explain everything to you?"

"From the **beginning**." He taunts, eyeing her sternly and crossed his big arms over his chest.

Emma rolled her eyes, she was in love with a tough ass.

She then took a deep breath. She was in love with him. Guess today was confession day.

"Guess it starts with you then..." she admitted and he gave a confused look, "Four years ago, the first time I've ever ran away from something...and Emma Nelson does NOT run from **anything**." She bittered, feeling kind of weak when it came to Jay Hogart.

Jay just smirked, waiting for her to go on. He liked finding out he was a weakness to her.

She groaned. He was going to make her work for it, wasn't he? Jerk. She'd hit him come later.

"And after running from you, because I didn't wana be hurt again..." Emma drifted off while shaking her head and tears starting to build up again, "I started running from everything, and I couldn't face the truth that things were changing, and people were leaving me, disappointing me.." she snickered remembering Rick, "Trying to kill me."

Jay softened, watching her sadly and finally stepped in, closing the door behind him.

God she didn't know she had any more tears left in her. See? Jay made her friggen weak! And soft, and girly-

"When you said you blamed yourself about me starting drugs at the ravine, thinking that was your fault cause you brought me there before? It wasn't, your crazy to think that." Emma told Jay while giving him an insane look and then looked down, "If it wasn't drugs, it would of just been anorexia again or something else."

Silence filled the room.

Jay's blue eyes held sorrow and pain and so much worry for Emma as she tried to take a breather.

"I didn't think I'd depend on it so much." Emma admitted about the drugs, "But trying to feel better after the shooting, after walking away from you and getting sick, the pot made me feel careless.. but I still thought about it, and I didn't want to, so it still hurt.. and JT's death made me break if I wasn't already broken before." She snickered and let the tears fall, "Then I got lost in it. I lost you, then I lost JT, and then I felt like I was losing my family and Manny. Then I felt I lost Sean, now I realize I wouldn't care if I did. I really just lost myself." She muttered, staring down at the ground now.

Jay stepped closer to her and her head still hung down sadly when he ran his hand up the side of her face gently and through her hair, holding the back side of her head.

"You never lost me, Em." He said quietly, watching her still not being able to look up at him. He brushed his thumb against her temple, she melted at his touch.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as his heart sored, yeah, Emma made him weak too, a total softy. Jay Hogart, weak, he admits it. Only to himself and her though!

He put his other hand on the other side of her head and lowered his own to get a view of her face, "And what created this ugly thing." He teased, running his thumb gently over her little bruise on her left cheek, her left eye closed in a cringe and glared playfully up at him.

She then frowned and admitted, "I told Manny everything, she walked in on Sean trying to kiss me." As Emma said this, jealousy stirred through Jay and he tensed up, Emma added, "He didn't though, and it was just my evil ways that led him to trying anyway. But she blamed him and ran away here, I found her, told her it was all my fault, and she hit me."

"Whatever, I hit her boy toy first and harder." Taunted Jay proudly.

Emma softly laughed, "I deserved it. We're okay now, she's back in Toronto already now and she'll be married to Sean tomorrow."

Jay stared down at her bruise still thought sadly and then cracked a joke, "Least it makes you look badass."

Emma smiled sadly and then played with her hands, "Why'd you leave that night?" she finally asked, a memory from the night everyone found out about her drug use.

FLASHBACK:

_Emma stood in the middle of the kitchen, just staring down at the floor. Everyone had finally left, Sean was last out the door and glanced back at her, she didn't want to even look at him. He frowned and left too. Emma then whipped around to see if Jay was still there._

_Gone._

_...where did he go?_

_END OF FLASHBACK._

Emma confessed to Jay, "I looked for you. I needed you there, tell me it was okay in your own sick way." She joked but he could see she was really upset he left.

He remembered that day like yesterday, he waited days, months and almost 2 years for to her to come back to him. He never gave up on her.

FLASHBACK:

_It was right after Jay shut Craig up for calling Emma addicted, and sarcastically called him a doctor. He had no right to be in this, and neither did Jay. Jay remembered thinking Emma just needed her family right now, so Jay had slowly crept out the side door. He took one more glance at her through the screen door, she was crying, fighting with everyone, he looked away sadly and left the house. He sat in his car for a few moments, wanting to run back in there, yell at Manny, punch Sean, yell in her parents faces for accusing instead of just helping and then just hold Emma in his arms. He finally took in the fact he had to leave, she had to go too, go and get better. He'd wait for her. Tell her he was in love with her maybe later. _

_END OF FLASHBACK._

Jay looked at Emma, "I knew you needed just your parents.. but hearing the news the next day from Sean, it seemed he stayed for the show as well as Mannings and his bald dad." He said and Emma snickered giving him a look, he went on, "They should of handled it better. I wanted to go back and help you Emma but.." he sighed, "It was complicated."

Emma slowly slid her hands onto his hard stomach, looking at his shirt instead of into his eyes as she admitted, "You kinda are the only one who understands me, and knows me."

Jay's eyes shut softly to her touch and her words, his heart thumping. Jesus, she could bring him to his knees if she wanted to.

He opened his eyes and replied playfully, "Even when your acting stupid. I speak fluent retard." He laughed softly when she pushed her little hands on his stomach, trying to shove him back now but he stood his ground and chuckled, "Going after Sean and all."

Emma bit the end of her tounge, feeling terrible, if she saw Jay running after someone like she did infront of him, she'd just about want to die. She was crazy jealous just over Bianca running after **him**. Yes, she admits it now, she hated Bianca cause she wanted Jay. God, now she knew why Jay had so many freak outs.

"Soo.. you want me, then?" Emma asked shyly.

Jay eyed her closely and confirmed, "Emma I'm not Sean." Emma looked at him like he was insane, "His whole 'poor me I'm misunderstood' bad boy time was just a phase. I'm always like this." He admits, naming his flaws, "Sometimes selfish, always out spoken, a jerk really, I do things before I think about it, I smoke, I really do have a bad past, and to be honest I don't really care about the environment, dolphins are **not** my thing, Emma-"

"Shut up." Emma finally breaths, crashing her lips up to his. He blinked before smiling against her kiss and kissed her deeply. They pulled away breathless with his forehead against hers. Emma dearly noted, "Yes you're a jerk and defiantly talk too much, but your honest, and your there for me, and you protect me, your independent and strong, and your everything I've been looking for. And best of all? You **aren't **Sean, not even the slightest." She said, shaking her head with a thankful look and smiled when he full out grinned.

Emma yelped when Jay bent a bit and grabbed the back of her thighs, jumping her up on and against him. He gave a warning look up at her as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "So one more thing you gotta do before I take you back."

Emma gasped, "Take **me** back?" she laughed at him as he simply nodded.

"Yeah." He answered and smirked when she gave him another playful glare. He carried her to the bed and dropped her on it as soft as he could.

She bounced a little and giggled as he crawled over her, making her lay on her back with him on top of her, his hands roaming up her sides, lifting her shirt ever so slightly and his hands touching her bare body seductively. Emma bit her lower lip wantingly.

He suckled against her neck and she sucked in a breath, he pulled back and then leaned down to kiss her and she leaned up to then pout when he wouldn't kiss her.

He smirked evilly down at her, "You got to admit your madly in love with me." He declared, running his finger from her lower lip where her pout was and down her chin.

Emma gave him an unbelievable look.

"Ever since you laid eyes on me." He taunted.

Emma rolled her eyes laughing, "You had me at Greenpeace." She taunted back.

He grinned devilishly, "I was just forming our cute little nicknames early for our future together." Her laugh sung in his ear. "Alright." He says, he owed her one for teasing her maybe too much in highschool.

But come on! It was like a grade 3 boy, throwing stones at a girl because he liked her.

"I, Jay Hogart.." drifts Jay leaning back down to her as her eyes sank into his, "Am madly, deeply_, fucking_ in love with you." he closed his eyes and kissed her

Emma's heart sped like crazy and mumbled against the kiss, "I love you too.. even more." He snickered against the kiss too.

"Gotta fight me on everything don't you?" he huskily whispered while slowly moving his hands down her hips to her thighs, taking her little shorts down with his hands.

"Won't fight you on that.." drifts Emma cheekily and bent her knees up as they slid off easily.

Laying under him now with her lace panties and black tank top, Jay just found out she wasn't wearing a bra under when his hands gripped one of her handful sized breasts. He groaned, wanting her right there and now.

He watched her hands unbutton his pants as he reached an arm over his head and pulled his shirt up and off his head.

Emma gasped loudly as they finally laid naked, Jay finally plunging inside of her for the first time. She moaned out in pleasure and pain as he kissed around her chest and waited for her to get use to it. When he slid in and out of her again, she felt his huge member hitting her right spots, and though there was a bit of pain, there was tons of pleasure, and she dug her nails into his back, shutting her eyes. He whispered things into her ear to assure her. She never felt so on top of the world.

They both saw stars.


	11. Ain't No Other Man But You

**Thanks for the review Swithily! Glad you love it! Trying to think about what I could do for a sequel or just brand new story.**

Emma and Jay had just gotten out of the taxi and were bringing their bags back into her house. Jay brought hers in and went and grabbed his duffle bag from the trunk.

Manny's wedding was this morning, it was around 1, so they were probably just saying their I do's.

Emma sat on the porch watching Jay admirely until looking around and breathing the fresh air in.

When he shut the trunk, a limo drove up front.

When he came to Emma and she stood up on the porch steps, they shared a soft kiss as he laid the bag beside her until they heard the limo break.

A white high heel peeked out first as the person stepped out, then Manny in her big white wedding gown.

Emma's mouth hung as Jay gave an insane look, wrapping his arm around Emma's waist as they watched Manny struggle out.

"Manny, what the heck are you doing!" Emma asked as Manny tried to catch her breath, standing up straight.

"I couldn't do it." She said

They both stared in shock until the other side of the limo opened its door and Sean walked around.

He looked a bit nervous but stood next to Manny and looked seriously at Jay and Emma, "**We** couldn't do it, not without you guys."

Manny nodded.

Emma looked away from Sean to Jay, still feeling bad. Sean gave Jay a look of sorry and a small nod that Jay ever so slightly nodded back to before looking at Emma.

She looked unsure, so he held her closer to him.

Manny saddened, "Emma, I **can't** do this without you. And damn you for trying to bail out!" she yelled a her, "You owe me!"

Emma sighed loudly and said, "Fiine!"

Manny squeeled happily, clapping and jumping to then gasp, "Now hurry! I don't want my wedding to happen at night, everyone's waiting. Your dress in my dressing room."

Sean smiled softly looking down and then slowly back up to Jay, "Your dress is in my dressing room too." He taunted playfully.

Emma tried to hide her laugh as she saw Jay also try to hide his smirk and then turn to her, "I'll go get my suit and I'll meet you there." Jay promised Emma, kissing her cheek and going towards his car.

Manny yelled, "lets go!" she turned back to the car where Sean opened the door for her, Emma following after until Sean grabbed her arm.

Emma stopped and waited for him to threaten her, or yell at her, or even punch her, he was good at that.

"Thanks for calling me, and I forgive you." he told her sincerely, "Because it wasn't all you, even if you think that," he shook his head, "We were both confused and afraid of the big change going around us, from our split, to growing older, to our closest friend dying, and me getting married, and you falling for Jay Hogart.." he drifts, raising a knowing eyebrow at Emma who laughed a little.

"I know. Crazy right?" she asked him sheepishly.

Sean nodded but shrugged while grinning, "Kind of makes a lot of sence though. He picked on you way too much to actually hate you. He was like a third grader." He admitted.

Emma groaned, "I knowwww." She nodded, thankful someone else saw it

"You know how to keep him grounded though Emma." Sean confirmed, "I haven't seen Jay so protective over someone or even care about anyone besides himself. And you know what? I think he knows how to handle you too. Shut you up when you need it." He teased.

Emma glared warningly at him, "And Manny knows how to put you in your place." She taunted.

Sean smiled wide at her and she ended up smiling.

"Come on!" came Manny's yell inside the limo, "Let's do this!"

Sean nodded at Emma, "So friends then?" he asked.

Emma nodded back, "Only and always." She laughed softly with him as they shared a hug and then crawled quickly into the limo.

And that was it. Emma wore her lacey dress that matched the other bridesmaids, and she waited for the wedding theme song to start playing so she could go down the isle with her friends and wait for Manny to follow them.

Manny looked nervous and Emma put her hands on her shoulders, "Breath." She confirms.

"What if he decides he doesn't want to marry me?" Manny freaked out and Emma snickered at her.

"Are you kidding?" she taunts and Manny gave a small smile, "What did I say? The guys coo coo banana's over you." she used Manny's catch phrase to make her laugh, it worked.

Emma looked around.

"Where are your parents?" she asked.

Manny rolled her eyes, "Mom's here, but you know my asshole Dad. Doesn't approve so isn't here. I can walk myself down the isle." She shrugged.

Emma thought about it then added slowly, "Or get Snake to do it."

"Oh Em.." drifts Manny shaking her head with an unbeliable smile, "I couldn't..." she eyed Emma who nodded

Emma rolled her eyes, "He basically raised us both, we're like sisters Manny."

"Em, I love you so much." Manny informed and hugged Emma tightly.

And then, that was really it, Snake happily walked Manny down the isle and gave her away to Sean. And it wasn't at all wierd. Emma watched as Manny gave herself to Sean, and he back. And she smiled the whole time. Okay maybe she didn't watch them the WHOLE time, a bit too busy narrowing her eyes at Jay who kept smirking and winking at her on the other side of Sean.

Jerk.

Everyone stood up and clapped when Manny and Sean shared the kiss, and started leaving, bridesmaids and grooms started hooking arms and following after them. Toby with Liberty, Spinner with Darcy, then Jay and Emma. Mia took hold of Isabella, who was the flower girl, and walked off behind them.

Walking slowly down the isle of the applauding crowd, Jay leaned down to Emma whispering to her, "Notice Manny has more friends than Sean?"

Emma giggled and gave him a warning look, "Let's not start anything today." She joked.

"No, we couldn't want another bruise on your pretty little face, would we baby?" Jay teased back as she smiled up at him and shook her head while rolling her eyes. Cover up at least hid it very well!

Manny and Sean's wedding planner formed a red carpet to walk on that led you to the beach behind the cereomy where music played. Tables laid out everywhere incase you wanted to sit, or even black blankets to sit on and watch the ocean.

It was beautiful.

Sean helped Manny take off her heels before picking her up with a big smile, dimples showing in both their cheeks as he led them near the water through the sand.

People started forming together and dancing on the beach, leaving the new married couple alone on the shore in anothers arms.

The guys were getting beers as Emma sat down in the sand next to Darcy, Liberty and Mia who smiled waving to Lucas who danced with Isabella.

"You guys are adorable." Gushed Liberty, Emma nodded in agreement. Silence.

Darcy sighed, "I hope I get married next."

They all giggled.

Meanwhile, Jay sipped on his beer with Spinner and even dorky Toby when Sean finally came over and grabbed one too.

"To Sean." Spinner said, snapping Jay out of watching Emma laughing in the sand with her friends.

They all raised their beer together and cheered.

Sean added, "And to Jt, who we all wish could be here." He insisted.

They all smiled sadly and cheered again then took big chugs just for him.

Manny had set up a big blown up picture of JT on the family table, just for his memory.

Suddenly the speakers boomed with Manny's voice, "So usually before the bride and groom start dancing, there is a daughter and father dance." She spoke into a microphone.

Everyone gave questioning looks, but Manny's dad wasn't here, unless she was going to force Snake to dance.

"Oh please don't make my dad dance infront of everyone." Emma groaned, now sitting next to just Darcy who laughed out loud.

Manny then pointed at Emma whose eyes widened, WHAT was she DOING?

"But since my dad sucks, I deserve a traditional sister dance." Manny confirmed. Emma's cheeks flushed.

Oh.

My.

God.

Ice, Ice baby started to play on the stereo.

_**Ice ice baby  
>Ice ice baby<strong>_

Emma shut her eyes as Darcy gave a wondering look. The guys shared one too, Sean and Jay chuckling softly wondering what the girls were talking about.

"Come on, Em. You **still** owe me." Manny devilishly said with a smirk.

Emma smiled shaking her head and got up, slowly walking over as Manny laid her microphone down.

"I'm going to kill you after this." Emma muttered to Manny as they stood next to another.

_**All right stop  
>Collaborate and listen<br>Ice is back with my brand new invention**_

The crowd laughed and clapped, slowly swaying their hips as the girls danced to their song and twirled around another, laughing and clapping to the song aswell, doing their famous disco moves and sarcastic rap moves.

_**Dance!  
>Bum rush the speaker that booms<br>I'm killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom  
>Deadly, when I play a dope melody<br>Anything less that the best is a felony**_

Jay squinted his eyes, too painful to watch but smiling like an idiot glancing over now and then. Sean laughed out loud and sipped on his beer while telling Jay, "Their an embarrassment." He joked.

"And we're stuck with them." Jay joked back, admiring Emma like a devoted little puppy as she laughed loudly with Manny.

She was so damn beautiful.

Sean admired Manny as well while standing next to Jay. Who knew they'd end up with these girls, these perfect, amazing girls.

"Someone should really stop them.." Sean informed.

"Yeah defiantly." Jay insisted, walking over to Emma and Manny with him as the other guests joined in on the dancing.

Emma and Manny stopped dancing to laugh and hug another as Sean and Jay made their way in front of them.

"We just have to say one thing." Sean informed them, looking unimpressed until the chorus hit and Sean sang with it, "_**If there was a problem. Yo, I'll solve it!" **_

Emma and Manny laughed even harder, seeing Sean join in on it.

Jay ended the chorus, "_**Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it." **_he rapped, swaying his head back and forth down at Emma who swung her hips side to side when he put his hands on her waist and laughed hard together.

Spinner stood off to the side watching the scene play out and blinked, shaking his head, "Their crazy!" he declared and walked off.

Guests were beginning to leave late that night. A few groups at only a few tables, saying their good byes. A few drunkies still on the dance floor. The candles around the beach were lit by how dark it got.

Manny and Sean had left hours ago, probably doing the nasty and tomorrow they were off to Hawaii for their honeymoon.

Jay and Emma though, they sat on the shore, the water running up to just almost hitting their feet. Jay rolled his white shirt sleeves up to almost his elbows and took off his black suit jacket for Emma to sit on.

He sat, leaning back on his hands with his feet out. Emma leaned against him with her head on his chest as she watched the ocean. Her knees slightly up and against his thighs, almost curled into him. They looked up at the sky too.

Usually most couples did this when the sun was going down or coming up. But they stared up at the pitch black sky, stars slowly appearing more and more. Clearly they weren't usual couples.

Jay looked down at the top of Emma's head and leaned down, kissing it and caressed her hair while leaning on his other arm for support.

Emma mumbled and it was clear she was falling asleep.

"Ready to go drunkie?" he teased softly.

"I'm not even drunk." She mumbled against his chest sleepily

He grinned slowly, "Nah, just hoping you were to excuse the Vanilla Ice dance." He joked.

Emma sat up beside him and hit his chest, laughing, "Yeah right, you probably use to blast his music in that civic of yours!" she accused.

"You have no proof." He teased, grabbing her hands and then stood up, and helped her up right after.

She slid her fingers into his and he held her hand as he bent down and grabbed his jacket. They started walking down the beach, walking toward his car.

"And you almost ruined this _beautiful _wedding." He teased again.

Emma yawned tiredly and pouted, "Stoooopp." She pleaded, turning to him and went to complain about never wanting to talk about it again.

He cut her off with a deep kiss.

She slowly kissed back as his hands moved from on top of her shoulders to down her arms smoothly and then slid to her waist and around to her back, pulling her against his body.

Emma almost shivered. God, the way he had her wrapped around his finger, it was scary but so thrilling too.

"Love you." he mumbled, putting a piece of her blowing blonde hair behind her ear and Emma's eyes sparkled.

"Such a softy." She teased up at him, tilting her head happily.

From behind, Toby ruined their moment by walking by, well, stumbling by. He fell onto the sand and began to puke. Obviously too drunk.

Emma cringed, poor Toby. But Jay glared at him and taunted, "It's a known fact dorks can't handle their booze, why'd you even try Issacs?"

"I'm sorry!" Toby cried and then gagged, ready to puke again.

Emma rolled her eyes shoving Jay slowly back to walking away, "Yet, your still the same though." She taunted and he smirked with a shrug wrapping his arm around her shoulders bringing her closer.

And Emma wouldn't have him any other way.

_**Tell your mother, your brother, your sister, and your friend.  
>And the others, your lovers, better not be present tense.<br>Cause I want everyone to know that you are mine and no one else's!**_

_**Oooooooo, oh!**_

_**Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you  
>Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do<br>(what you do).  
>You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon.<br>You got soul, you got class.  
>You got style your bad ass - oh yeah!<br>Ain't no other man it's true - all right -  
>Ain't no other man but you.<strong>_

_**Break it down now!**_

_**Ain't no other, ain't, ain't no other! (other)  
>Ain't no other, ain't, ain't no other LOVER!<br>Ain't no other, I, I, I need no other!  
>Ain't no other man but you!<strong>_

_**Ohhhh!**_

_**You are there when I'm a mess  
>Talk me down from every ledge<br>Give me strength, boy you're the best  
>You're the only one who's ever passed every test<strong>_

_**Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you  
>Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do<br>(what you do).  
>You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon.<br>(You're the kinda guy, a girl finds oooo yeahh)  
>You got soul, you got class.<br>You got style your bad ass - oh yeah!  
>Ain't no other man it's true - all right -<br>Ain't no other man but you.**_


End file.
